Hello Merideth Hite Estevez, the creator and host of artists for joy podcast. This is one of our bonus episodes, offering a little creative encouragement and coaching inbetween full length ones. And today I have what will hopefully be a boost of joy for you–last week’s episode was all about finding joy in the waiting, letting your art or creative practice work on you—(if you haven’t listened to that I recommend you pause this one and go back one so it’ll make more sense).
Before I dive into the topic of the day, a few brief reminders. You have only about a week to get the early bird price for our enneagram workshop. Also the next creative cluster around julia cameron’s the artists way is starting in february! Both of those links you can find in the show notes.
At this time of year (christmas eve is tomorrow if you are listening to this on the day it comes out!) there is no shortage of music and theater and movies and art coming at you from every direction and if we aren’t careful, well let me speak for myself, if I am not careful, I am tempted to let this cynicism sneak in. This discontentment, probably laced with some anxiety, a heaping pile of judgment…and I can’t ENJOY anything. I feel like a spoil sport. I switch the playlist or change the movie or leave the room, and instead of feeling joy I feel lonely, dissatisfied, bitter, maybe even angry.
But as I shared in last week’s episode, I learned from my friend Clara that if we are willing to see it, to look up from wherever we happen to be sitting, and shift our lens to see the world differently, than we can feel joy instead of those things, and so in today’s episode, I’m going to offer you some prompts and give you a little exercise to try to help you get to a place of joy. I’ll also share some music that I featured in last week’s episode, that included Sarah Brooks on piano, and yours truly playing some oboe with Jani Parsons on piano.
First, I want to give you a little meditation on joy. What it is and what it isn’t. And, it feels important to say, there are theological, psychological and etymological definitions of joy to be read and discussed, but all I can tell you is what joy feels like to me…it feels like the most tender, sweetest, most poignant part of lots of feelings at once, and here’s the thing…even hard feelings are in there. For example, when I tear up at the end of that movie or cry happy tears when I hear children singing…here is what joy feels like…it feels like gratitude for being alive, like deep grief for the fact that life is so fleeting, sadness because I miss the people who are no longer here, but so happy and deeply satisfied by the fact that I got to love them. It’s like one of those huge bubbles that kids blow in the yard in the summer…joy feels airy and free and happy and effervescent but when you look closely in a certain light, you see a whole rainbow of colors in it even though it looks clear. I say all this so that you know I am not telling you to seek joy to escape from your very real feelings of loss, grief, pain, etc. No, to me, JOY makes room for all those feelings, in each of those joy tears, it includes the bitter and the sweet. And it doesn’t dress up pain as something it is not, it doesn’t ask you to stuff it, it lets it all show up. And so joy is something you can feel even in the face of deep sadness. Joy isn’t circumstantial happiness. It isn’t temporary pleasure. It can feel happy or pleasing, but it also acknowledges all that is hard about being alive. So when I ask you to feel joy, I am asking you to pause and feel your feelings, all of them, to let them come and turn the bubble around in the light and notice all the swirly things there, even when there are intense strong negative emotions that weigh you down, the joy can rise up, if you let it.
So, now, I am going to give you a few reflection questions and a piece of music, and a homework assignment.
I want you to pick a piece of art…and I would encourage you to choose something that is not your main art form. If you are a musician, choose film or a work of visual art, if you are a painter, then listen to the music I am about to share. But as you listen, I want you to consider the three G’s….that lead to joy, by asking the following questions of yourself.
For me gratitude is an on ramp to joy–so what are you post grateful for, as you let the creative product of someone somewhere, what does it bring to mind for you, what is most precious and important to you, and what are you most grateful for?
What needs to be grieved? Right next to your gratitude, you might find feelings of disappointment, pain, loss…in one hand hold the gratitude and in the other grief.
What goodness do you believe to be true? Regardless of your faith background or religious affiliation, I would argue that we all have deeply held beliefs about life. So take a moment and preach those things to yourself. Whatever is good, whatever is noble, whatever is TRUE, remind yourself of that now.
Let the art work on you, let it bring joy to the surface of your heart, let it call you home to yourself, to something larger than yourself. Hold the gratitude and the grief, and peer through the lens of goodness.
I will be back next week with one more bonus episode to help you ring in the new year. Until then, take good care.