How to celebrate

Auto generated transcript: there will be errors! It’s really ok!

My friend Ariel (that’s her real name, I’ll tell you more about her later) is a writer turned accidental rock climber. Which is kind of a weird thing to say since you don’t exactly fall up a mountain. Her then boyfriend and now husband convinced her that this was going to be their couples hobby on something like their 5th date. Ariel is terrified of heights, by the way. The first time they went out she got an amazing 6 feet into the air before exploding into tears and full blown panic. Slowly though, she started loving it. They kept climbing every chance they got and before long they were planning their dream –scaling half dome in Yosemite national park. 

The training involved not only physical fitness and honing their technical skills as climbers, but it was mental too. They would spend hours researching each leg of the journey. There was first and foremost a 5 hour hike to the base of the climb. They studied each pitch, that is the length of the climb that can be protected by one length of rope. They read blog posts, watched go-pro helmet videos, scoured the internet for anything they could find that would help them feel ready. 

They made it an almost daily event to run up to the top of a steep hill behind their house, they would climb lots of smaller mountains throughout the year leading up to half dome. Finally it was time, 16 hours of climbing ahead of them, they set out for a birds eye view of the yosemite valley floor. 

This podcast is for ariel
It’s for anyone looking for solidarity for the long climb of a creative life

It’s for artists wondering why it is so much easier to celebrate others accomplishments instead of their own. 

This show is for anyone looking to debunk that “tortured artist” stereotype, for those who want to believe that the creative life can bring us deep satisfaction, healing, and even joy. I’m so glad you’re here. 

I’m Merideth Hite Estevez, and this is Artists for joy the podcast

SHORT MUSIC BREAK 

each week I will share stories of artists seeking joy… We’ll explore how so many travelers along this the artist’s way have left us bread crumbs—wisdom and inspiration that can help us stay joyful on the journey.

This week on the podcast, the how to series continues with I think a very fun topic–how to celebrate. I’ll share how I am learning how finding joy and delight in the journey is, well, it’s kind of the point. I’ll share two things I am forcing myself to celebrate, in spite of the imposter thoughts in my head, plus I’ll share the results of a listener poll I did of our community members about why it can be hard to celebrate even our biggest creative accomplishments, plus I’ll give you something to consider this week. 
But first heres some more music.

I don’t know what it is like where you live right now, but the photos just don’t do it justice in my life lately. The harvest moon from a few nights ago, the blazing orange autumn leaves here in Michigan–they stop me in my tracks. By the way, how poetic is it that there are just some things about certain natural phenomena that our little all-powerful iphones just can’t get. I probably have 30 different snaps of fall foliage that I keep taking when I am at that stop sign on the road home and when I look at them now, they just don’t capture the burning bushes, the awe I felt when I saw them, the breathless whispering “wow look at that” to myself in the empty car.

And so you go make your husband get off the couch and see that moon through the kitchen window and suddenly you both feel it— what a miracle it is to be alive and together and here right now under this moon and you reach for your phone to take a picture to capture the moment, (because, hey, we are nothing if not a product of our time) and that photo is laughable compared to what your plain ole human eyes can behold. The iphone 13 camera can do a lot, and maybe you’re a photographer with a national geographic level camera who can capture the essence of anything, but even so, I still think there’s something sacred about just looking up, being awake to the beauty that’s right there, waiting to be praised and loved and enjoyed and held close in this one precious life we get. 

If standing in the dark kitchen in my slippers staring up at the moon is one side of the coin then my success obsessed hustling head down life as an artist is the other. If you follow me on social media, you know that I just pitched my very first book to some dream publishers last friday. That date is important, I’ll say more about why later, but just know that the launch of these hopeful email pitches into the atmosphere was moved up by a couple of days because my agent thought the time was now. He had read the proposal. He thought we were ready. I was not so sure, but honestly I had read that thing so many times I wasn’t even sure it was in english anymore haha. So we sent it last friday. It felt like watching a rocket launch and then wondering if it was even real because the sound of the thing exiting the atmosphere hadn’t reached you yet. I was feeling all kinds of ways. Relieved. Dreadful. Ecstatic. Hopeful. Scared. Publishing is a hurry up and wait business if there ever was one. So me and my feelings are hanging out waiting and in the meantime life goes on and I keep working, keep hitting publish on this show like I have done every friday more or less since April 2020. Bracing myself for some impact that I couldn’t explain. And a couple of hours later, when I am obsessively checking my email for updates from my agent, I get a message from my podcast hosting platform service, saying “congratulations on your 100 episode of artists for joy podcast.” And the thing that stopped me in my tracks was something the email said—click here to tell us how you are celebrating this milestone! 

How I am celebrating this milestone? Well, I know this sounds like a good time… I’ll be compulsively looking at my phone until I know the verdict of whether or not my book is worth publishing, until I know if all my hard work even mattered. Sounds like a party, no? 

In reality my first thought was, well, it isn’t really 100 episodes. It doesn’t really count, because they weren’t all full length ones. And I should or could have done it faster if I hadn’t taken 3 months off for maternity leave. Truth is, I wasn’t even counting the number of episodes. Had they not sent me that email, I wouldn’t have noticed. And now that they had I kept qualifying it, I kept telling myself it didn’t matter. That’s what we do, isn’t it? We don’t celebrate or enjoy any milestone because all we can see are the ways it wasn’t perfect or ways we are disqualified. When I asked this question on social media, people said so many interesting things:someone said  they feel like they have to wait and see if it’s worth celebrating. They think the joy-stealing comparative thoughts like “well so and so has millions of downloads, so do my 100 episodes even count?” Someone mentioned that they carried on the dynamics of their family where accomplishments were downplayed and celebrating success was seen as arrogant or braggadocious. They fall into the virtue trap (that term Julia Cameron uses in the artist’s way by the way) virtuous thoughts like “well I don’t celebrate this or that thing because it was my duty to do that. I was just doing my job.” Using virtue to keep yourself creatively blocked or in this case from celebrating even a small win. One of my favorite comments was when a listener said “I think I don’t celebrate because I think I have a low capacity for goodness in my life in general.” 

That’s a wake up call. What is your capacity for goodness like, huh? Do you believe deep down that what you have done or tried to do is good?  That you yourself are good, worthy? If you identify as a person of faith, do you believe creation is good, that whatever higher power you believe in, do you believe your God is good? 

What if we can’t be the tender, joyful, courageous, brave artists we want to be without that capacity for goodness? What if there is no beauty without goodness? I believe that there in the heart of goodness is gratitude and joy and when those cups runneth over we have ourselves a celebration, my friends. What if we cultivated celebration as a core value in our creative life, what if that is a key that keeps us going even when no one has offered you a contract for your book yet. When we are made to wait and see. We have to learn how to celebrate because it deepens our capacity for goodness, for beauty, for joy. And we are going to need those things for the climb ahead. 

Ariel and her now husband made it to the top of half dome, by the way, of course they did. And one reason was because they greatly enjoyed the process. They celebrated every smaller mountain training climb, they saw each effort they put forth as one of many in a long, long game which wasn’t easy, but was full of joy.

And one amazing thing Ariel told me is that they have no pictures from a single pitch during the climb. They have pictures from the bottom, and pictures from the top. They have a strict no cell phones policy when they are holding ropes and holding the life of another in their hands. And there it is, another incredibly holy moment where the iphone simply isn’t needed.

Here’s to living more moments that the camera can’t capture. To releasing the guilt and fear and comparisons that stop us from celebrating. To resist the temptation to keep looking down at how far we have to fall in our creative pursuits and instead stop at each milestone with genuine faith that you are making progress, even when you are standing still or hanging on the side of the mountain. The joy is in the climb. And celebrating is being joyful out loud.

And allow me to remind you—you are good. Your body is good. Your work is inherently good just because it is made by an artist that is inherently good and there is no way you can earn or disgrace that fact. Join me as I deepen my capacity for accepting that goodness. 

And so I’ll start by celebrating the 100th episode of this show. Thanks for coming on this climb with me, we aren’t anywhere near the peak (at least I hope) but wow is this view amazing and the journey has been full of joy for me. I hope it has for you too.

Every step along whatever climb you are currently making is worth celebrating. Not because it’s especially instagramable or looks like anything but some huge dusty rock wall in front of your face. But friends don’t forget there is someone else on the other side of that rope.  Our individual climbs are unique and can even be lonely, but we aren’t alone. That’s the best thing I’ve learned in 100 episodes and that is definitely worth celebrating. 

So How to celebrate: first things first. you’re going to be tempted to take out your phone. Look instead for the thing the camera can’t capture. Stop there for a moment, no matter how far you still long to go, and let yourself whisper even if no one else can hear, wow, look at that.

I’ll be right back. 

Listening mail 

In todays listener mail I want to celebrate some big and small accomplishments of some of the people on the other side of my rope. Those in our community who were willing to share what they are celebrating this week

–Christina was named Indiana music teachers association teacher of the year

–Heidi submitted an article to try and get published for the first time 

–Sara Made good use of her energy while she had it (Yes, this has been a big theme for me this week)

–Maiken took inglorious job, but a job nonetheless, when she’s been the stay at home parent for years. (yes, gotta start somewhere my friend!) 

—Bettina honorer her gut about a feeling/situation 

Belinda completed the revelation wellness 21 days to stress relief, that sounds amazing 

Lisa stood up for herself  and Restarted my yoga practice 

Lee found some Intermittent presence through meditation 

Pamela has Nearly finished 75 days of an exercise routine, eating plan 

Elizabeth secured a dual venue art show for my Women’s art club 

Briana Played a concerto and will be promoted this fall 

These are all amazing things, big ones, small ones. All worthy of outloud Joy aka celebration.

Someone asked, any ideas for actually what to do to celebrate?

And my answer there is ask your inner artist child. What sounds fun? What do you need? What would bring you joy? Obviously there are parties and dinners and all the outer ways the world celebrates but there are inner ones too that are equally important. Sleeping in. Taking a long bath. Enjoying an activity you rarely get to do. I have a friend who bought herself a piece of jewelry when she signed her first book deal. You are the boss of your life my friend so you get to do whatever you want, no pressure to spend crazy amounts of money or involve lots of people. It can be internal, private and as simple as telling someone what you’re most grateful for. How can we destigmatize celebration, turn it from this big special thing we don’t deserve and make it a core value or lifestyle? Start internally. Do a little happy dance in the mirror the next time you wash your hands. Especially when you don’t feel like it. Hope that helps. 

Now for today’s coda

I had the distinct pleasure one summer of being in a workshop with a 17th century clown. That is a teacher of clowning in the commedia del arte tradition, which is a predecessor to the stock characters of early opera and some say even influenced physical comedy today. In the workshop, which was not for theater majors but arts educators in all disciplines, we learned movement, improvisation, and physical characterization. We actually wore noses and participated in an exercise called “eccentric dance.” (Thankfully this was also a moment where cell phones remained in their pockets.) 

What I will never forget is what our teacher said about how much clowns love mistakes. She taught us a really complicated game which put certain people in the circle on the spot. It was very easy to screw up in a hugely public way and before we even started our teacher explained that clowns love nothing more than when people screw up. It is their greatest joy. They celebrate it in the most kind-hearted way. Because it is when things go wrong that there is the largest opportunity for laughs. So whatever happens in this game, we are to treat the one who screws up like he or she is the hero of the entire round. Cheers. Songs, whistles. Celebrate because the one who makes the mistake, they’re the winner. And when you screw up, screw up big. 

So my question for you today is this: how in touch are you with your inner clown? If celebration isn’t a core value of yours, what is? Excellence? Perfection at all costs? seriously, if you are in a game where you keep seeing yourself as the loser, what if it’s only a matter of finding another game or other playmates? When celebration becomes a central tenet of who you are, you can even begin to see the unexpected as an opportunity for joy or at least learning, and hey maybe it feels a bit too high stakes for that, if it does, I highly recommend finding some outlet in your life where you can take yourself a little less seriously. Where is there a creative outlet where you can stop needing to be excellent or right? Where can you screw up big? That’s what clowning taught me. I left that workshop and my face was hurting from smiling. We all have the opportunity in whatever circles we are in to radically accept others and encourage them to do that thing clowns do so well… celebrate the silly, ridiculous, absurd joy that it is to be human.

That’s it for today’s episode of artists for joy. It was created, written, and produced by me, Merideth Hite Estevez. This show is a free offering from my woman led small business, Artists for Joy LLC. If you would like to support my work encouraging artists of all disciplines to live a more fulfilling and joyful life. Click the link the show notes to buy me a coffee. 

Today’s music features music by mendelssohn and Faure and grieg…excerpts from midsummer night’s dream from the european archive, as well as some songs without words performed by pianist Sam Chan. 

Next week I will be back with another musical meditation episode which as always will include some self coaching question to help you reflect on all that you have to celebrate. And then I’m excited to share that week after next we will have another installment of our meet an artist who series featuring our rock climber writer, editor, book midwife hahaha I gave her that name by the way, the fearless Ariel Curry. She’ll talk about what it is like shepherding creatives through the vulnerable work of creating a book and sharing it with the world, plus she’ll tell us how she has cultivated that mindset of celebration in her life. Subscribe wherever you listen or by clicking the link in the show notes so you don’t miss an episode! 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LISTENING. If you’ve been around for all 100 episodes, and some of you told me you have, then special thanks to you for holding the rope for me these last few years. The biggest present you can give me to celebrate is by no. 1 head on over to instagram and follow along there if you haven’t already and/or would you be so kind to leave me a review on apple podcasts or click the link in the show notes and let me know how this podcast has helped you in your creative pursuits. I absolutely love hearing from listeners. And it has truly been an honor to serve and support you these last 100 episodes. Here’s to one hundred more. Until next week, take good care. 

Ok today’s sounds of joy is barely even a sound but it is a very brief clink sound you can barely hear over a loud restaurant, but these are the true sounds of celebration. My husband took me to dinner last friday to celebrate all the things, the proposal the podcast milestone. So whatever kind of beverage you might have handing, tea, margarita, wine, coffee, just imagine that CLINK sound to be the biggest cheers I can offer over you through your earbuds. Enjoy

Musical Meditation: Inner Team Huddle

Hello there Merideth Hite Estevez here creator of artists for joy podcast. This is the musical meditation of the main episode entitled How to be you. That was episode 2 in season 3. In the episode we discussed how our personalities, even the parts of us that we might dislike sometimes, can be a resource for us in certain times and places. I led you through a coaching exercise about naming your inner team members, and this little bonus episode will offer you some more prompts to go deeper with this topic and hopefully allow you to reflect more on how you, all the parts of you, are not a liability but a beautiful kaleidoscope of uniqueness and beauty. And, the most valuable lesson that coaching has taught me–you are driving the car! So you have agency over how you show up. 

I also love to share a listener response to the episode and this one was a more general email I received from a faithful listener in Florida, an ordained minister and casual visual artist she calls herself…she writes:

During my sabbatical I was working on healing from all the trauma and deaths related to ministering during the COVID-19 pandemic, and I was being counted on for so much for so long.. My sabbatical included painting and improving my photography skills so that I could produce a gallery show of my work for my church after I returned. I was dealing with a lot of frustration and feeling that my skill would never reach my imagination of what the final product could be.  I stumbled upon your podcast

And it has helped me tremendously as I dealt with all the internal conversations that I am not a REAL artist. It has helped me quiet my own criticism of my work. It has helped me declare that my ministry work, which is a ton of original and creative writing, is also art. And that my "trying at” being an artist who creates mediocre art is ok and ‘ok' is good enough. 

I am not afraid anymore of calling myself an artist. I created a show of my own sabbatical art, and in my artist statement I list myself as a 'casual artist'. That’s quite a change from being a frustrated person who would not call myself an artist at all. 

Thank you for giving me confidence and courage in my show "The Colors of God's World". Hope this inspires you in some way. 

AND YES IT VERY MUCH DOES. THank you so much for writing. And I share that email with you hear because what I think this listener did was move past the negative self-talk she was getting from outside sources but also from people in her past or her life, that she wasn’t a REAL artist and she decided instead to let her creative, curious, open, accepting team members ride shot gun, and out pour so much expression and creativity from there. That is incredible. Truly an honor to have played a role in your accepting that title artist. 

So as you listen to today’s music, reflect on the following: 

1. Who are your inner team members? Where do they sit in your car in any given moment? Are there certain activities or triggers that put the negative voiced control freak in the front? What activities bring out other parts of your team? 

2. What resources do the negative presenting members have to offer you? For example, my perfectionistic self is really great in getting that executive function going…to get things done. But then I have to call in fun Merideth to keep things joyful in the face of impending imperfection. For you, your perceived negative team members might offer you protection, safety, boundaries or otherwise. 

3. And lastly, do one final inventory of the car. It might be easy to miss someone if they haven’t been attended to in a while. Show a close friend or loved one your inner team list and ask them if you missed anyone. Maybe there was someone who used to be really adventurous but he or she might have been pushed into the trunk since you became a mother or switched jobs or left school or something. Just because one or two of your team members are the loudest, doesn’t mean there aren’t others who are just as valuable and central to the team. 

Just a reminder that these questions are available in the show notes if you swipe up wherever you listen. Today’s music features marnie laird playing the opening movement of beethoven’s moonlight sonata. 

I will be back next week for another full length episode. Until then, take good care.

How to be you

This transcript definitely contains errors. Be kind :)

My friend Anna, an executive assistant by day and comedy writer by night, is also a mother of two very rambunctious 3 year old little boys. She called me recently and honestly I was just so excited to see her name appear on my phone, I answered immediately. HEY there I said, so good to hear from you. I guess you aren’t dead. We both laughed wholeheartedly and then she said something I’ve been thinking about ever since, when I asked her how she was doing, with the boys getting older and she was back working full time and trying to write at night…. She said,  “Parenting twin toddler boys is just like being an assistant, except nothing matters, everything is sticky, and your quote unquote bosses always act like they’re drunk.” I laughed about that for days. When Anna and I had more time to talk, which let’s be real, was easier over text, she confessed that she’d been in a rut, managing all of it–work, home, parenting, marriage. She would have weeks where she felt successful in one area but as soon as she did she felt the other areas drooping. Her executive function had seemed to do the trick in most of the places she showed up, she was the one with all the schedules and plans, and systems, and that helped manage the chaos at work, home and with her boys. But her comedy writing was suffering. Knowing I am a creativity coach, Anna asked me, maybe I’m just post-funny. Maybe the humor, writer, fun part of me died when I had kids. 

This podcast is for Anna

It’s for anyone wondering about the different parts of their personality and how they interact

It’s for artists who are managing roles and jobs and responsibilities and wondering where their creative self fits in 

This show is for anyone looking to debunk that “tortured artist” stereotype, for those who want to believe that the creative life can bring us deep satisfaction, healing, and even joy. I’m so glad you’re here. 

I’m Merideth Hite Estevez, and this is Artists for joy the podcast

SHORT MUSIC BREAK 

each week I will share stories of artists seeking joy… We’ll explore how so many travelers along this the artist’s way have left us bread crumbs—wisdom and inspiration that can help us stay joyful on the journey.

This week on the podcast, the second of our how to series…this very meta title. How to be you. I am going to tell you more about the conversation with Anna, especially about how i helped her find her way back to a joy for comedy writing and I’ll take you through a really eye opening coaching exercise I learned in my training to help you name your inner team members, resource their skills and cultivate a sense of self-compassion and grace for all the multitudes you contain. I’ll answer a listener's question about something and give you something to consider this week. But first here’s some more music. 

The fall makes me feel all sorts of ways. Based on social media these last few months, I see that I am not alone. As a kid I loved school, and so the signaling of our return to the classroom makes me nostalgic for my hometown and my mother’s house. The greens give way to bright yellow and orange and the sun seems different. The darkness starts to settle in earlier and here in michigan the wind already has a chill. And even though it is technically my favorite season, the fall brings up a lot for me.

So whatever you are feeling in this season, bring it on over to this the podcast equivalent to my fire pit and we’ll talk it out. 

This week I finally admitted to myself that I wasn’t going to be able to wear sandals anymore and so I began packing up my summer shoes. The fake birkenstocks I have worn almost every day this summer were first, and hardest to part with. Thank you for your service, I thought to myself, and then immediately I  thought, how silly to thank your shoes. But when I did I dropped one and it landed on its top, the worn out sole facing upward now. 

I couldn’t help but notice the odd way the sole had been worn down, I was clearly pronating both feet as I walked, both soles were completely worn down to the cork on one side while the toe box area and the center of the shoe looked like new. Maybe if it wasn’t fall I wouldn’t see this as poetic, but I couldn’t help but ask, have you looked at the bottom of your metaphorical shoes lately, how is your soul being worn?  Soul spelled S O U L for the record LOL

As you travel down the roads of life, how is the world wearing you down? How are you coping with all you trudge through, what’s protecting you and your creative impulse as you drag your feet or run your race? How does it feel to be you in this season of life.

There’s a coaching exercise I learned in my training called “who’s in your car,” it was written by Graydin founders McKenzie Cerri and Quinn Simpson. I do it with my coaching clients and occasionally in my workshops, if you are in this round of the artist way creative cluster you experienced it on tuesday. 

And it goes like this—as you travel down the road of life, imagine yourself in a car, you yourself are the driver. You are making decisions about where you are heading and what you are doing and how to shift when things go wrong, etc. But in the car with you, imagine you have your inner team. Those different aspects of your personality that you bring along with you. So ask yourself, when you are resting and relaxing with a great cup of coffee–who are you? When you are under a work deadline and getting things done—who are you? When you are at family dinner or christmas morning–what part of you shows up? Now, some parts of you may have developed because certain people in your life have had a huge impact on you or certain circumstances you have faced required you to react or adapt in a certain way, but remember for the purposes of this exercise, those people or those stories do not ride in the car with you. In the car are you and your inner team, aspects of your personality that you get to choose to listen to or work with, or not. In the exercise, you go through with the person you are coaching–asking who is in your car?. Where do each of them sit? Is your creative self locked in the trunk? Does the control-freak part of you get especially riled up when there is traffic along the route?

I’ve been through this exercise with many people by now, and honestly it is one of my favorites. Artists first of all have such rich inner lives and so meeting their inner teams is often so interesting and thought provoking. I had one coaching client create paper doll puppets of each of her team members, which I’m using as this week’s image if you swipe up you’ll see it. I believe that so many of us have a hard time being ourselves because we don’t 1. Understand ourselves and 2. We don’t feel integrated or whole. We aren’t intentional about how we show up, we feel like we are at the mercy of the circumstances we face or the quality of our work. If life is a road trip then the road is bumpy, there are construction detours everywhere, we’ve driven 30 miles on E, and the check engine light is on. 

And what I love about the inner team exercise is that is confirms something I suspected long ago–that along the road of life, throughout whatever season you are in, whatever shoes you’re walking in, being who you are is not some simple or even unified thing. That walt whitman quote comes to mind “I am large, I contain multitudes.” Yes, artists do, but I’d say everyone does. We all have personalities that are shaped by all kinds of things, but if we stop seeing them as a liability but outline them like an inner team that can help you when you need it, it feels possible to believe that it is truly possible to be you, with intentionality, asking things like “How do I want to show up here?” or “who do I have in my inner team that could help?” 

And the person with the best answer to that question lately was Anna, my friend, mother of twins, comedy writer who felt creatively dry and blocked. When I took Anna through the whos in your car exercise, (yes I do it with my friends too hahah) she realized that her responsible self was in the passenger seat and she always wanted to drive. And in a lot of ways that felt useful because the responsible Anna got things done, it was like a button she could push. But, Anna realized quite dramatically that the comedian, the fun Anna was in the way back. She was listening to headphones and dozing off because she felt she wasn’t needed. By never calling on her, Fun Anna felt like her skills were obsolete and so she had checked out. When I asked Anna, what would it be like to show up as fun Anna at home with the boys? And that’s when she started to tear up. She knew she wanted her boys to know the real her, the smiling, joyful, raucous person she was. And so she started first giving Fun Anna something to do. When they were heading up to take a bath recently, Fun Anna asked them to choose an animal to act out as they walked up the stairs to their room. She hopped like a frog and gave her most convincing ribbit and the boys loved it. Were they a little late getting to bed that night? Maybe. But after they were down, Anna got to work on a screenplay she had abandoned months ago. 

Being fun Anna was just what she needed. Sometimes being you means inviting some long abandoned parts of yourself into the passenger seat, letting them pick the music for once. Life really is a journey, just look at the bottom of your shoes. And yet the seasons change and the car keeps going no matter how much we’d like it to stop and rest. But what if there was a team along for the ride with you? What if you weren’t at war with yourself, but accepted the motely crew that makes you who you are? What if you were allowed with the help of your inner team, to be a manager one minute, a maker the next, what if we can choose how we show up, how we want to be in any given moment? I happen to know that this mindset shift can help you feel more creative, more joyful, freer, more content. 

So how to be you? With intentionality and self-awareness, with radical self-acceptance, resting in the grace that you are the only you we have, that all your multitudes that you contain, the whole carload of you is welcome and loved and capable and whole. If Life is a road trip, who’s in your car?

I’ll be right back.

Today’s listener question was submitted via email. This person asked: 

Merideth, I am a writer and that means I am also an online content creator and I am having trouble thinking of ideas for posts on social media. I feel like I have to be in all places all the time with clickable brilliant sharable content and video and reels,  I just do not feel inspired or authentic in what I’m making. I love seeing the direction you go with your episode topics, your instagram posts, etc. and I’m wondering what process you have for creating that stuff. Thanks in advance, social media sucks but I need it to get a book deal 

HAHAH These fake names are really just getting more and more creative. I know how you feel, trust me, I do! And First thing I’ll say is I created an episode where I talked about in the who do you create for episode, so go back and listen to that one from season two. So first of all, but basically the shift in the mindset…to one of service and pouring into people. Stop seeing it as a platform and instead make it a bench, where someone can stop and sit and think and chat and be known. (Stole that image from hopewriters by the way, it is not my own) but this shift changed EVERYTHING for me. Ask yourself, how can I help the people I am serving online? What kinds of things are they struggling with? What encouragement can I offer them? So that’s one esoteric kind of mindset thing, but the second tip for the day is a very practical one. Find who your people are reading, and quote them. I’ve built an entire business of Julia Cameron’s book the artist’s way. The posts where I quote her get so many reshares and likes and comments and stuff because that’s my psychographic, as they call it. My people are reading that book and so when I quote it it reminds them that they are in the right place. What is that book or books for your community? Sharing other people's words, that’s part of social media. Don’t feel like you have to say something deep and profound all the time and it has to be personal and all about you. It does need to be personal sometimes, at least I think so, for a writers platform, but not all the time. Release yourself from that pressure. Lastly, test different types of content and see what 1. Sticks and 2. Is fun and sustainable to make. Maybe your people love reels. Maybe it’s intimidating to make them but once you learn it actually kind of fun. Have an open mind that literally all you have to do is try something, just try it. The only way you won’t learn something is if you do nothing. The mythological algorithm rewards you for trying, so just do it. Most of my post or episode topic ideas come from coaching clients, conversations with friends, books I’m reading, things I see on social media that resonate with others…it’s just living my life with my eyes open and taking notes as I do, not being afraid to give something a go and see what I learn. Hope that helps.

Now for today’s coda…

In music history this coming week, on October 6, 1802, Beethoven himself wrote a letter to his two brothers which is now known as the heilegenstadt testament. It’s an important letter because in it he admits that he is heading towards full blown deafness, a fact that he had admitted to no one. He addressed the letter to his brothers, but it is almost like a testament to the world, sharing what he had been so afraid to share, that it was true, that he was indeed losing his hearing, and explaining that this was the reason he had isolated himself from all people and left for the country. He says “Ah, how could I possibly admit an infirmity in the one sense which ought to be more perfect in me than in others, a sense which I once possessed in the highest perfection, a perfection such as few in my profession enjoy or ever have enjoyed.”

I’ll link to the whole letter in the show notes. It is a harrowing look inside the struggling artists mind, often painful to behold but beautiful as you see someone so gifted processing his life right there on paper in real time, grieving, but choosing to live…to keep on trying to produce all that he felt capable of producing, he says. Reading his words now almost exactly 220 years later, in maybe the similar fall spendor Beethoven himself might have seen outside his window as he wrote, I feel even more in awe of him than I usually do. Side note: he was 28 when he started having problems with his hearing. By the time he was 45 he was totally deaf, he died at age 56. And to put into perspective, he wrote most of his symphonies with little to no hearing at all. The music you’ve been hearing in this episode now is a piano reduction of his seventh symphony, which he never heard a note of in his earthly life. It also happens to be my favorite.

So my question for you today is this…is what ways are you letting your circumstances define you? I’m not here to make light of anyone’s suffering. Beethoven’s letter is first and foremost a reminder to be gentle, for everyone is fighting their own, often internal, battles. And yet, what it brings up for me today is that it is possible to live beyond what happens to you or the stories you tell yourself about what happened to you–to seperate yourSELF with a capital S from your circumstances, especially painful ones. Beethoven was a great composer who also happened to be deaf. And so let it encourage you to be an artist who also happens to be struggling with addiction, or going through a divorce, or dealing with abuse or injury or an eating disorder. Beethoven made the choice to keep going in spite of what he had lost, and based on other facts from his biography, I think that was a choice he had to make every day sometimes. And yet, he did keep going, and as he did, he completely revolutionized music forever. 

Part of being you then, means making the often difficult choice to leave behind the you you thought you’d be, and fully accept yourself as you grow and change and life happens to you. It means taking those versions of yourself that others have given or reflected back to you, and throwing out of the window of the moving car whatever is not true or resonant.  And that is one reason why the inner team can be so helpful, because believing that the whole of the symphony of voices representing who you are is greater than the sum of your parts, that you have a choice for how you show up, how you respond to whatever you face, that you have the resources within the car already to cope and thrive and live, in spite of your current circumstances. That there is an eternal you there that remains intact no matter how your body fails you or whatever seasons come and go. And so you keep riding along the road of life, and like Beethoven, your creative practice becomes the truest way to be you. And on that road, in spite of all the pain and suffering you may encounter along the way, the symphony still crescendos to an ode to joy.
That’s its for today’s episode of artists for joy. It was written and produced by me, Merideth Hite Estevez. 

This week’s music featured the piano reduction of beethoven’s 7th symphony transcribed by franz liszt and performed by Lambis Vassiliadias, and Marnie Laird performing Beethoven’s moonlight sonata.

Artists for Joy LLC is a woman-run small business that helps artists craft a more joyful creative life through resources, workshops, and one-to-one coaching. You can learn more about us by following @artists for joy on instagram or checking out our website artists for joy dot org. That’s artists for JOY dot ORG. If you want to be a supporter of this podcast then click the link in the show notes to learn how.

I would love to meet with you to help you discuss and resource your inner team. I offer a half hour free discovery call for anyone interested in coaching, click the link in the show notes to learn more. I am a trained and certified coach through Graydin, which was the organization that created the who’s in your car exercise. So let’s meet on zoom to unpack what you learned today. 

Next week I will be back with a musical meditation episode featuring some of today’s music and an additional self-coaching exercise that will help you continue to learn more about how to be you. 

Here we are 2 full episodes in to season 2 and I wanted to do my usual plug…have you left us a review on apple podcasts yet? If you could take a moment to do that, it helps us move up in the apple podcasts charts and helps us find more artists to join this community. 

Grace1289 wrote recently in their review: This is such a much-needed podcast for artist of all kinds. It’s so encouragin, and reminds us of the essence of what dres us to our creatfts in the first place, which is creative joy and wonder. The world is tired and being an artists in a tired world is…tiring. This is a breath of fresh air under our wings. 

Thank you so much for those kind words. I absolutely love hearing from listeners, so please visit the link in the show notes to leave a question for the show, or remember we have a google voice number 302-415-3407 where you can call and leave us a message that we can play on the air. 

Thanks so much for listening, take good care. 

Today’s sounds of joy is a rare look inside my car lol…I have an inner team member who is literally always singing and I realized that as I was listening back to edit this episode, so here is me working out my issues by singing myself through it. Please let me know in the comments for this episode on instagram  if you do this. 

Graydin  https://bit.ly/2FHiTGx 

Who do you create for link https://bit.ly/3fpbv4p 

https://bit.ly/3E9thTP

Support the podcast https://bit.ly/3vdDjeN 

Coaching https://bit.ly/2RzDvDp 

Leave a listener question https://bit.ly/38bKMSF 

Or Call us 302-415-3407

Podcast survey https://bit.ly/3PJ4bNR 

Survey reminder https://bit.ly/3xp9KKW

Listen to this when you take it personally

Transcripts contain errors :) It’s a thing, Be kind.

Hello there, Merideth Hite Estevez, your host of artists for joy podcast here. This is the bonus content for season 3 episode 1 which was entitled “how to talk to creative people.” In these little mini episodes I give you some creativity coaching questions, some things to reflect on or take to your journal and then I put the music from the previous episode center stage. Hopefully encouraging you to find some quiet time to think deeply about your creative practice, your internal dialogue, your mental and spiritual well-being. 

I also share a few listener comments in these episodes so let’s jump right in. This one generated some really deep conversations, one listener said: 

 I enjoyed this so much! I appreciate how you validated that we do care. A lot of the guidance is to not care what people think. Yes, we have to filter out some of the criticism, as you eloquently guided in this episode. But we do care. Now, I’m going to hop back on the bike.

Yes, keep riding! I do believe that if we say we don’t care we are lying, so glad that resonated. 

Another listener said: What a thought provoking episode this was for me! It occurred to me that much of this has to do with how people speak in general. I think.we've lost the fine art of communication in many ways. But there's always hope. Thanks for the suggestions. 

Such a good point. The art of communication is something we are losing, aren’t we? I resonate so deeply with that feeling too. I wonder if it’s the internet that contributing to that, we sit behind keyboards or screens and forget the power of real connection and being with someone, and how to do that with our words. Glad it generated some deep thinking for you. 

I love hearing your thoughts about each episode, so please do go to the instagram post for the episode at artistsforjoy and let me know your thoughts and read what others are saying, we have been growing a really supportive community over there, and so come join us. 

In the episode, I mentioned a post it that I have on my desk that says “it is unsustainable to take everything personally.” And so many folks have told me— THANK YOU so letting me know i’m not alone in feeling like the world is out to get me or that I’m too sensitive or needy. And friends, you are not, and yet, it is not a sustainable way of being to take everything personally. So here are 3 self-coaching questions to return to when you are feeling that familiar feeling. Discomfort, confusion, maybe anger or sensitivity. Anxiety, fear, when you feel those feelings because of what someone said or didn’t say, here are 3 questions to help you release the words or actions of others and with compassion, return to a place of love, worthiness, sustainability, etc. 

Just a reminder that these questions are in the show notes if you want to swipe up wherever you listen.

So no 1: 

What is my base-line stress level like? Or put another way, what other things are happening for me right now that might be making me more reactive, sensitive, incapable of coping or more likely to take things personally? 

One listener mentioned she was feeling like she was taking everything personally and she looked around and realized how stressed she was because they were in the middle of moving. The seeds of taking things personally grow in certain conditions—stress, fatigue, grief, are just 3–so instead of focusing on the thing that’s upsetting you. Rest. De-stress. Grieve the things that need grieving. Go inward. 
No. 2 

In the face of this upsetting thing I am taking personally, what am I afraid this means about me? 

Write all your fears down: things that come up for me are, maybe this is confirmation that I am not good enough, or I’m actually not a kind person, or I handled that badly and I should be ashamed. And there it is. that word. SHAME. Find the shame that you are most afraid of, and bring it out into the light. Brene Brown says Shame can't survive being spoken. Shame needs 3 things to survive: secrecy, silence and judgment.What are you afraid that this comment/action/occurrence means about you? Chances are, the shame is far bigger and deeper than the thing or things you are taking personally. And the good news is, that shame is something you can do something about, Talk to someone about that secret, silent judgment and release the shame with the help of someone who loves you.

No. 3 

Lastly, when something REALLY IS PERSONAL, when you feel deep down that there’s something deeply true or important in something someone has said or done to you, my favorite question to ask is this: what is God teaching me through this? And if you don’t believe in God, maybe the question is better worded in this way: “What am I meant to learn here?”

Because here’s the thing…i am not perfect,  no one is. Some things are personal, how else would we become more kind, loving, and gracious people? I want to be more of those things, and there are going to be times when I need to course correct. And as painful as the lessons may be, when I filter them through the TRUTH that is waiting for me amidst the shame—that non-negotiable truth, I am loved and lovable.  I can take the tough lessons, let them make me better, let them make me change, as uncomfortable as that can be, without it meaning that I am bad or horrible or unlovable. What are you learning through this situation? That question helps take your worthiness out of the equation, see yourself as a work in progres, and maybe even be able to offer compassion to the person or people who sent that lesson your way. 

I really hope this helps. Don’t let the world rid you of your tenderness, friends. As artists, our sensitivity is a gift, not a burden. Today’s music is a tune from kirsten edkin’s album art and soul, this one is called soul eyes. 

I am working on another full length episode for next week, so until then come join me on instagram at artists for joy for more encouragement and creative inspiration.  

Also, I would really appreciate it if you’d click the link in the show notes to the survey and fill that out for me. I would love to learn more about how you and how you listen. Until then, take good care.

How to talk to creative people

transcript contains errors; be kind

My friend Sara was riding her bike in her neighborhood one Sunday afternoon in California when all of sudden she was on the ground. She thinks she slid on some dirt that made her bike go sideways. She was wearing a helmet and wasn’t going very fast but she felt beat up pretty badly. Gashes on her knee and elbow, a cut along her leg where the pedal must have scraped her. As she stood up trying to collect herself, a driver passing by pulled over and got out to make sure she was ok. She ran over to her and said, “hi, I saw that. Are you ok?” Sara fell into a puddle of tears. She told me later there was something about what the woman said and the way she said it—I saw that. The fall wasn’t even that bad but it has shook her and To feel seen, acknowledged, noticed in that vulnerable moment, she didn’t know it, but it was just what she needed.

This podcast is for Sara

It’s for anyone who’s ever wondered what to say in a crucial moment

It’s for artists looking to get better at giving and receiving words

This show is for anyone looking to debunk that “tortured artist” stereotype, for those who want to believe that the creative life can bring us deep satisfaction, healing, and even joy. I’m so glad you’re here.

I’m Merideth Hite Estevez, and this is Artists for joy the podcast

SHORT MUSIC BREAK

each week I will share stories of artists seeking joy… We’ll explore how so many travelers along this the artist’s way have left us bread crumbs—wisdom and inspiration that can help us stay joyful on the journey.

Today on the podcast, the very first episode of season 3–I’m calling it…how to talk to creative people. I’m going to share what I’ve been learning from chatting with artists of all disciplines on social media and in my coaching practice, specifically about how to talk to creators about their work—what comments feels good and why. Plus I’ll tell you the number one thing I believe creatives long to hear in their most vulnerable moments. Hoping this will help you get better at asking for what you need from friends and family and I hope you’ll send this one to that non artist friend too, if they ever wonder what to say when you show them your latest work. I’ll answer a listener question about time and I’ll give you something to consider this week, but first here’s some more music.

There’s this receiving line that forms after you play a recital. At least in music school there always was. My friends and I used to joke that the worst thing someone could say when they walk up to you in that line was “omg you looked so beautiful in your dress.” In other words completely avoiding saying anything about the music you’d spent a semester learning and the last hour of everyone’s lives performing. If an oboe recital of mine went well, the receiving line was a delight. I loved hearing what people thought about the music I’d selected and of course I loved hearing if or how they had enjoyed it. But if the performance was not my best, I wanted to make like the witch in the wizard of oz and melt away into the floor, never to be seen or heard from again.

There are all these things we have to deal with as artists, especially as a performing or exhibiting artists, you not only have to think or worry about executing the creativity but then you have to manage your feelings about that and your feelings about other people's feelings about it. I remember one of my teachers once teaching us how to receive a compliment. To say thank you so much for coming, and if a listener said something to you that you disagreed with like “you sounded beautiful.” We were taught to be gracious and say thankful and not spend time discounting or invalidating the experience of the listener.

So Here are 5 tips for how to talk to artists about their work, some from my own experience as a musician and writer, some I put together from questions on social media.

No 1. Say something, even if you aren’t sure what to say and how to say it. Maybe a performance or piece of work makes you speechless. Maybe you were not moved or impressed by your nieces dance recital that your sister dragged you to. But here’s the thing…When you are standing face to face with someone who has just shared a piece of their creative heart, you say something. One thing I do with my daughter who is 4.5 when she says look mama and holds up a finger painting—I say, wow, I really liked the creative choices you made and then I point out what I see she said. Or I’ll say I so enjoy watching you working on your art. There’s something true you can say. So Send the text. Shake the hand. Stand in the receding line. Don’t avoid, just say something.

No. 2. Be personal and specific. When I asked on social media, what are those compliments you’ll never forget, the responses artists held most dear were often deeply unique and personal. One oboist told a story of when someone who came up to them after an orchestra concert and said “I lost a dear friend this year. It’s been hard to leave the house. I’m so glad I came tonight, your music was what I needed.” When you say things like, I was so moved by your work. You take the ownness off the artists and you claim your own experience around it. It makes it easier to not argue about the nice things you may be saying because it’s your own experience.

When you say “great job” or “nice work” of course those are lovely to hear, but a specific compliment like “I thought the slow movement was exquisite” or “your rhythm in the finale was impeccable” goes a long way. Or even if you know nothing about music lingo say, I loved watching you play the second piece. Someone said on the social media post that once someone gave a composer a play by play of one of his pieces and shared specifics about what they thought made it great. He said he always remembered that because he felt the listener really “got” what he was trying to do. So don’t be afraid to share your unique experience as a listener or viewer.

No. 3. Do not offer critical feedback unless the creator specifically asks for it. Here’s something I think creatives need to be more guarded about, who gives feedback, when, in what format, to what end? If you are standing in that recital receiving line and feel tempted to just add two cents about how just trying this or that could help intonation or such and such. No. Don’t do that. You maybe think that’s helpful. But it is not. If an artist wants to know how you think they can improve, they will ask you. And if you’re an artist don’t forget that you don’t have to take everyone’s feedback in. You should choose who’s opinion you do hear because too many voices may hurt your progress or get you stuck!

No. 4. Recognize the hard work AND talent—one thing people said over and over was how they were bugged when people called them talented. This one doesn’t bug me so much, but I can understand why others find it annoying. We so often are worried that there is something we are lacking, like there was some gene we needed to be good enough and we don’t have it. And so when people say we are talented we instantly wonder, well, am I talented enough? Or what, you don’t think this is hard work?? You think I’m riding on some sort of God given gift instead of blood sweat and tears. Instead try noticing the hard work by saying things like, wow I bet that look so much practice to learn. Or you have worked so hard in preparing this, and it shows. Truth is talent is just one small piece to the puzzle and it feels so good to have the hard work recognized too.

No. 5. remember my friend Sara who fell off of her bike? With the bystander who stopped and said “I saw that. Are you ok?” When she told me that story, I knew why she was so moved by her words. Because we all want someone to see us. I talk to so many creators who worry about being misunderstood or missed. And let’s be real, sometimes putting your creative work out into the world can feel like falling off of a bike and scraping your knee on a busy street. It can feel like framing your open wound of a heart and putting it on a gallery wall. I think what so many of us want most in the world is for someone to see us, to ask us if we are ok, in failure and success, to recognize that what we do can be hard and scary, and that the scary part doesn’t end when the performance is over or the creating part is finished. We care about how the world perceives us, of course we do. I’d go so far as to say that anyone who says otherwise is lying. So the last tip ok how to talk to artists is to say things that confirm that they are seen and heard. Ask them good questions about how the experience felt, about how they’re doing, that’s what I think so many of us want to hear.

So say something, be personal and specific, recognize hard work and talent and most of all see us, ask us if we are ok. We love creating, its our calling and part of that is sharing our work with others. Thank you for for the ways you love and support creative people with your encouragement and presence. Allow me to speak on their behalf and say thank you for showing up for us, for trying to talk to us even when we aren’t great at accepting compliments or when we don’t respond to your message or disappear backstage after a show. You are one of the reasons we do what we do, and so even when We can’t respond like we should, we are grateful.

My fellow creators, the first step at feeling more at ease when people talk about your work is to stop equating your reception with your worthiness. Don’t give people who have not earned your respect that much power. Find a small group of friends or a trusted mentor or teacher who can share what they see and hear in your work. And allow everyone else to enjoy watching hearing or seeing you doing your thing. Their response to your work is frankly none of your business, honestly it prob has very little to do with you. And if they share words with you, thank them for being there. Take the meaningful words and hold them close. Give them grace when they put their foot in their mouth. Don’t argue with them when they say you’re talented. It doesn’t mean you also didn’t work hard. Release whatever isn’t helpful. Stand up, dust yourself off and get back on the bike when you’re ready. I saw that. Are you ok?

I’ll be right back.

This is the portion of the show where I answer a listener question. Todays came from a listener via email—Merideth, I am always listening each and every week and I’d love if you’d share something about time management. I have so many fun joyful creative interests and ideas and when I have time to creative I then find myself feeling overwhelmed because I don’t know where to start or what to do first. Any tips? Thanks overwhelmed in Ohio

Hi there thank you so much for that question! I actually was on a coaching call recently with someone talking through this exact issue. Goals are no problem, ideas are no problem, you’ve got an abundance of those and that’s great. But when the rubber hits the road you aren’t making progress for lots of reasons. So, I can go into this way more if we did a one on one, but for the purposes of this podcast I’ve got one simple tip for you. When you are done with a project for the day, grab a post it, and put two or 3 bullets about what is next for that particular thing so when the next time you return to it you can feel like you’re starting more in the middle of a task instead of at a blank page or cursor. So say your writing a novel and you’re finishing up for the day…before you stop, pick a couple of bullets about what comes next. Need to finish love scene, dialogue for fight scene. If it’s a painting—need to go back and blend this or that, if it’s music—need to focus on sixteenth note passage at letter B. It will allow you to stay in the moment and not get stuck and overwhelmed before you start. And then plan your week or your day around the bullets of each thing. So you don’t have big swaths of times on your calendar for painting or writing, it is specific measurable goals that you can drop in and drop out as time allows. And make sure you plan some time to play too. With no agenda. It doesn’t have to all be productive! Balance the deep focus work with more playful, exploring time, don’t feel bad about using your creative time to be playful, that’s part of it. Let me know if that helps.

If you have a question to submit to the show you can do so by clicking the link in the show notes.

Now for todays coda (if you’re new here, this is the extra added part at the end to close us out)

Prions are birds that filter seawater through their mouths to catch tiny fish and crustaceans. If you’ve ever heard of the whales that do this, it’s similar and that’s why the prions have the nickname whale bird. The side of their bills look like little combs, and they use them to trap food as the water flows through.

So my question for you today is this—what kind of filter do your words flow through? In all honesty, everyone speaks from their own place of experience, point of view, and even baggage. This fact is useful for us as we may take offense to others comments about our work, but it is also important for us to consider our filter when we are speaking to others. For me, I try to use the ole golden rule, due unto others as I would have them do unto me. And that means running everything I say through the filter of—would this be something I would want someone to say to me? And the filter goes both ways, doesn’t it? Just like the comb jaws of the prions filter what comes out, it also filters what goes in. So what guards are in place for other’s words on your heart, your creative impulse, your confidence? How much are you letting the words of others affect you, or even better question, whose words are you letting through that filter of yours or are you just guzzling down everything that comes your way? You get to decide whose opinions, feedback, or words you take to heart. I have a post it on my desk that says “it is not sustainable to take everything personally.” The whale birds know what there food is and what isn’t. Are you ingesting hurtful comments, language, or negativity from others or yourself? It may mean the difference between keeping going and giving up. How do you talk to creative people? The same way you catch krill, with a filter…here’s to filtering out all that isn’t useful, loving or gracious.

That’s it for today’s episode of artist’s for joy. It was written and produced by me, meredith hite estevez. Today’s music featured our brand new season 3 theme song, always by our resident composer, Angela Sheik. lol three of the theme songs we’ve had on the show have been by Angela. Angela’s music is streamable on all the platforms and you can check out her videos on youtube @angela sheik or by clicking the link in the show notes.

Today we also featured music of one of our very own listeners, kirsten Edkins. You can listen more to kirsten by clicking the link in the show notes.

I learned about pirons from an awesome account on facebook called “random facts with Matt” his facts are delightful and timely and so he’s a good follow if you don’t already follow him.

So many exciting things come for season 3. Today’s episode was the first of the how to’s of this season—I got some feedback that listeners love practical how tos that they can take away and put into action. So this week we were focusing on how to talk to artists and next week we will have a follow up musical meditation with a couple of creative coaching prompts and exercises for you to take and practice.

Speaking of feedback, I have created a google form with just a few questions…if you listen to this podcast, please could you take a moment and fill that out. It will allow you to share your input for future episodes and also if you are a musician who has original compositions or public domain recordings that you’d like to have featured on the show, it will give me the opportunity to get to know you and contact you to potentially feature you as a musical artist for the show. That survey is in the show notes, thank you immensely for telling me about you, what you like and don’t like, and your hopes and dreams for this podcast! We are looking to expand and get some advertisers and so getting to know you listeners helps me get ads that will actually interest you!

That’s all for now friends, I will be back next week with a bonus episode for you, and and full episode week after next, until then, take good care.

Today’s sounds of joy is a little clip from a song writing season of my husband who is constantly asking me to grab my phone to record his song ideas. If I could have even half of the joy he has for music then i’d be set. So here is the prolific recording artist, Rev edwin estevez, here is his latest master work enjoy

Joy After Juilliard: for arts educators and learners

Transcripts generated automatically…expect errors :)

Hello there. Merideth Hite Estevez, your host of artists for joy podcast here today. I have the last little bonus content before we dive into season three. Next week. It is a talk that I gave recently for a retreat at a local fine arts department at a university here in Michigan. I know so many of you who listen are arts educators or arts learners.

And I thought it would be fun to share this interactive talk with all of you here on the podcast. Maybe you're starting school next week. Maybe you started weeks ago. Maybe you have sworn against stepping foot in another institution of education of any kind for all time in eternity, either way. I think there is something here for everyone, including three tips for how to stay joy.

If you have listened to this podcast since the beginning, or followed me for some time, you will see that some of this content I have said before, but never in the same talk and never sort of succinctly based around education. So I hope that it'll resonate. Even if you may have heard it before I share my story of finding joy after Julliard, finding my way back to loving music again, after intense burnout and education was a huge part of coming in and out of that place.

And so I hope it resonates with you. One last thing, like all of the talks that I give these days, this chat was pretty interactive. So there will be times here on the audio where you will be asked questions, asked to close your eyes and reflect on something and feel free to pause. If you want to think deeply about those prompts or swipe up, and you can read some of them in the show notes.

I wanna start off with a little exercise for. Close your eyes and think of someone from your past present and future that played a role in your education. First, think of someone from your past, someone who may have recently graduated, if you're a teacher or someone that taught you something meaningful from your past.

Next think of someone from the present who is arriving new at your doorstep this week, excited to be mentored, excited to grow someone who is teaching you something now. And lastly, the future dream about a future student or teacher.

I wanted to ask you to think about those people, because I don't want anything to come before this, perhaps obvious fact that education is really about people. The people we teach the people who teach us the role that we play in their lives. I'll tell you more about my story in a moment, but I taught in higher ed for a number of years as an applied OBO instructor, even had a brief foray into teaching music theory and ear training.

And I left the classroom officially about a year and a half ago. And as I did that, I was reflecting on the role that arts educators play in the lives of people. It's really like nothing else. In my opinion, for example, when you compare the one on one FaceTime that arts educators get with their students each week, compare that to a professor of a large chemistry class.

For example, the arts educator often has a much bigger impact. Then the chemistry teacher might because between a private lesson, a mentoring session, a studio class, All the hours of rehearsals during tech week, your presence in the lives of your students is profound. If you are a student, then the presence of your professors in your life is profound.

I wonder, as you were thinking a moment ago of people from your past educational experiences, If you thought of good or bad ways that they may have yielded that impact on you, that presence in your creative and artistic journey. So there's no other way to start this talk, but by stating that fact. That there is an impact that arts educators have in the lives of emerging artists.

And it is deep arts educators, actions and skills that they pass down ripple through time, not only in the life of the student, but in the creative work that they put out into the world, no pressure, but we all know that they aren't just normal teachers clocking. They are part mentor, life, coach, spiritual director, creative director.

And I know when I was teaching, sometimes I felt tempted to be a counselor or a parent to a student. If that's you. I see you. I see all the ways that that work can be so satisfying and worthwhile and also stressful and heavy and sometimes frustra. So as we recognize the deep impact that arts educators have on students, I also want to release you from the heaviness of needing to fix them, of needing to be fixed by them of the need for them to solve all of your problems of putting them on a pedestal, because they cannot stop our suffering.

You cannot stop their suffering as well. Meaning as that can. The students burdens are not ours to carry. And if we're not careful as educators, our egos make it in the way it was at this point in the talks that I showed a picture of me in 1997, from the Swanee summer music festival, you can view that picture by swiping through the carousel.

For this episode on Instagram, that picture was taken circa 1997 at my very first summer music festival. I had only played the OBO for about a year and I was smitten in the picture. Seated, playing the OBO with my music, leaned up against another chair. Guess there was no music stand around. And I remember vividly how hot and humid it was in Tennessee in the summer and how I was trying for the first time to play the Fairling etudes for OBO solo, which were way too hard for a student who'd only been playing one year, but I loved it.

Here is what that girl knew. She could not get enough of classical music and of OBO specif. This 15 year old girl was out of rural South Carolina for one of the first times in her life. And she soaked up every concert, every lesson, every late night conversation with her roommate about music. She was like a sponge.

It was hard work. It was scary, but it was full of curiosity and joy flash forward. 15 years later to this girl. Then I show another picture at my Juilliard graduation. I was standing on the corner of 65th and Broadway holding my diploma, smiling from my dad's camera phone. And I had everything going for me.

I had just graduated with my doctorate degree from one of the best music schools in the country. I had played with the metropolitan opera orchestra in the American symphony. I was a Fulbright scholar and had graduated Summa cum laude. And I'd done it all by eating fewer than 1000 calories per day. This girl was not motivated by joy.

She was motivated by shame, by perfectionism, by feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy by the feeling of control she got. When she restricted her calories, she was motivated by her ego and the need to. I imagine that you started, like I did, didn't you, we all started off by being motivated by joy and somewhere along the way, maybe because our teachers maybe because things got tough, maybe because we felt pushed into a corner and we didn't know the way out.

I do know having coached enough artists of all disciplines through this exact feeling. That we are not alone in these struggles. Here's two studies for you. This one's from 2017. It found that 71% of artists reported problems with panic attacks and anxiety. One UK study found that 45% of musicians reported problems with alcohol.

And even though many of us educators have advanced degrees, they are likely not in counseling or psychiat. And so one of our jobs as arts educators is to be an advocate for our students and colleagues and help them find the tools that they need to get healthy. Whether that be a therapist, a coach, a nutritionist, or a medical doctor.

Here's one thing that I did when I was. I would have sticky notes with the numbers, to some of those people in the studio on the wall. And when a student comes to you with a problem that you are not qualified to handle, you ask them if they'd like to call together in the lesson to make the appointment and then follow up with them at the next lesson.

So those two stats are pretty sober. But compare them to this one, which granted is older is from 2008 from a project called the maps project. It measured people's happiness levels, doing particular activities. It turns out that four out of the top six happiest activities were arts and creativity related.

So it's clear that the arts bring creative. I heard someone say recently that they were able to get through the pandemic because of this or that show or this or that movie or this or that streaming service. And so with these stats has me wondering if the arts bring us collective joy and yet so many artists are struggling.

Is there a way to consume the arts without consuming the artist? And maybe you're thinking, what can I do? What can we do to make artists more joyful? Is education part of the problem. And before I can give you three concrete things that you can do for yourself and for your students, I wanna bring us back to where we started remembering the profound impact that you as an educator have on your student.

To remember the profound impact that you may be tempted to let your professors have on you. And so whether or not you are a student or teacher, allow me to suggest the way to help foster, creative and sustainable careers in music. And the arts is to model them is to be joyful yourself. So joy, a three letter word.

That I think can be the most motivating thing you have in your toolkit. As an artist. These are three things that I did to get my mind and spirit back on track. These things are ways you can shift the culture of your studio, of your school, of your own mind. Because since that day at my ju graduation, I've learned a lot about my own resilience.

I've learned that no matter how hard I had tried to quit. I just never could. The joy was always there. It was just a matter of reconnecting with it. Here are three things you can do to foster more joy in your creative life. Number one, take care of yourself. End on. Checkoff said, if you wanna work on your.

Work on your life. The number one thing I ask my coaching clients as a creativity coach. And by the way, I, I do work with well known exhibiting visual artists and principal orchestral players that come to me blocked or burnt out are stuck. And the first question I often ask after they've told me everything that's going on is what does you have for lunch?

Because of course what you eat matters, what you drink, how much you drink, how you sleep, how you take care of yourself, are you treating yourself like you are the instrument? And so until you start prioritizing your. And by that, I mean, mental and physical wellbeing. How in the world do you expect for there to be exuberant joy in your creative work?

So make the doctor's appointment, schedule the therapy, take the medication. If you need it. At this point in the talk, I had them all turn to someone at their table and share one thing that they can do to take better care of themselves. Who can you tell about your self-care plans? Who can hold you accountable?

And one last thing about taking care of yourself. Sometimes self-care hurts sometimes going to therapy to talk about hard stuff can be more painful than just staying silent, but that doesn't mean that you're doing it wrong or that isn't working or worthwhile. It's not always. Or simple or painless to take good care of ourselves,

but it will lead to joy. If you just keep going. Number two, reconnect with your own inner artist, child Picasso says every child is an artist. The problem is staying one. When he grow. So, how can you bridge the gap between your own snapshots of yourself when you were a child falling in love with your art form to maybe this moment when you're feeling burnt out and lost?

It is here that I had them turn to another person and share one thing they remember about creating as a kid, people shared that they used to make up dances that they used to write and direct plays that they used to sit at the piano for hours. Plucking out songs. When you look at that picture of yourself as a young creator, what do you admire most about yourself?

For me, it was that curiosity and courage. The fact that that girl of this SW summer music festival was not afraid to try. Even when she failed, she had a resilience and a easiness about her as she was. Number three, forgive yourself. The writer, Ann Patchett has this amazing essay about writing called the getaway car and in it, she likens the creative process to seeing a beautiful butterfly.

So the first part of her crafting a well known novel is just watching this butterfly and admiring it from afar. But eventually she knows that she has to pluck it out of the air and pin it down. And so eventually the writing of the story means killing the beautiful butterfly. She says that by the time the dead butterfly is there on paper, it doesn't even reasonably resemble the beauty of the live thing that she had seen at first.

And so she said, quote, forgiveness is key. I can't write the book I wanna write, but I can and will write the book. I am capable of writing again and again, throughout the course of my life, I will forgive myself and wow. Is it the same in music? We can't replicate the sounds that are in our heads. Can we.

And maybe if you're a dancer, you can't move your body the way you dream of moving. It, it always ends up falling even just a little bit short. And so of course we must forgive ourselves over and over and over throughout the entire creative process throughout the entire learning process. So forgive yourself after every.

Every breath, every lesson, every phrase, every show, because there's no joy without forgiveness, because as long as we remain EMBI to ourselves for not winning or doing more or being better, we don't love ourselves

here. I have them take a moment to think of something that really stings in their creative life. Something that they believed they failed at. And. I asked them to send themselves a text or email expressing forgiveness. And I added, if you can't forgive yourself yet, just say you're trying. So the three things are, take care of yourself.

Reconnect with your inner artist, child and forgive yourself. There are just three things that were monumental in helping me find joy after Julliard. And I've seen them transform the way my clients think about their work and their lives too. I read something recently that said the future of the arts rests in the wellbeing of artists and who cares more about the next generation of artists, more than educators, more than you as one of them.

So the culture that you make in your studio, classroom department, your own head, it shapes the culture makers of the next generation. So may you cultivate a culture of joy this year by taking better care of yourself by reconnecting with your artist's child? And by forgiving yourself one by one. Now think back to those people who came to mind earlier, when I asked you to think about your past present and future in the education system, what would it be like if you had helped those people take care of themselves, reconnect with their inner artist, child and forgive themselves, what would it have been like if that one toxic.

Have been able to help you do that. Joy is something way better than success or progress or job security, its resilience and strength, and it can sustain you through the ups and downs of a creative life that will inevitably come. Thank you for all the ways that you are impacting the next generation of artists.

And if you are one rest assured that. It's not too late to find your way back to joy for your art form. That was the end of my talk. I would love to hear your thoughts. And if you'd like to see some of the images that I am referring to in it, you can go to Instagram and swipe through the carousel post for this episode to see those today's music features me.

On oboe performing works that I recorded with Jani Parsons. You can check that out by clicking the link in the show notes. I will be back next week for a brand new full length episode, beginning of season three until then take good care

next.

Listen to this when you're stressed.

Hello, Merideth Hite Estevez your host of artists for a joy podcast here. This is the bonus content related to the full length episode on stress, which is the one right before this, in the feed episode, 28, season two. Today, I'm going to share a listener comment from the episode, and then I'm gonna teach you a quick breathing exercise to practice while you listen to some music from last week's episode.

Hopefully it will encourage you to exhale and release some of that stress that you've been carrying. But before that, if you have not heard the full length episode, episode 28 in season two, jump back one and listen to that. First, this listener comment came in right after the show went live. They said I already listened to this once.

And once I get to the office, I'll be listening again. Thanks for all you do. I love this. Actually many people have told me over the years that they listen to the same episode more than once. And so if that is you, I see you honestly, that was kind of, sort of my dream that. That each episode would sort of stand on its own as a thing you could come back to again and again, and maybe catch something that you didn't hear the first time or let the music and the words sort of wash over you and keep your company like a familiar friend or something.

So I so appreciate every time you listen, even if it's more than once of the same episode, it still Kelts. And if you have a particular way that you listen to this show, like in your studio while you're painting or on your way to teach or concert, or right before a big, stressful thing, I would love to know that right me via the link in the show notes, or leave me a DM on Instagram at artist for joy.

Today's music features a piece by Erik Satie called Gymnopédie and the Brahms Requiem. How lovely is the dwelling place performed by the university of Chicago orchestra? And while you listen, I would love for you to practice the following breathing technique. This is what Dr. Andrew Huberman calls the physiological sigh.

So what you do is you inhale through your nose twice. And then you exhale slower through your mouth,

trying to elongate that exhale as long as. this physiological sigh helps you slow down your heart rate by extending the exhale and it will help you activate your parasympathetic nervous system. In other words, it will help you shift from states of stress, to a state of relaxation, calm and rest. I try to practice this breathing at night before I go to bed or if I'm driving or if I'm washing my hands, some repetitive action during the day where I can get a second to really, truly exhale.

So do it together. One more time, inhale through your exhale

slowly through your mouth. and repeat, I would love to hear how this breathing exercise works for you. And until then I will be back next week with one more piece of bonus content that you will not wanna miss. Before we begin our season three on September 9th until then take good care.

Stress

Transcripts generated automatically and therefore may contain errors!

My friend Miranda works in publishing, specifically at a christian imprint of a major publishing house that produces mostly fiction. We had dinner with her and her husband Mike and it came to a point that it was clear Miranda had something to tell us. So after one drink, she announced she was leaving the imprint, I’m thinking of starting my own literary agency. Mike put his hand on hers. I looked at them to try to determine how she felt about this move. “That’s great, congratulations”, I tepidly chimed in. Miranda said, “Yes, it’s been a long time dream of mine and…she hesitated.” Mike broke in, “Well, that and I am making her!” They both smiled knowingly and she filled us in. Since the pandemic Miranda had been working from their living room and so Mike, who also was working from home, could overhear a lot of the meetings that Miranda was in for work. One day after a particularly stressful day of a particularly stressful week, Mike sat Miranda down and said, I don’t know if you realize this but you are in a toxic work environment. I’ve been listening to your meetings for a few weeks now and I am shocked at how they speak to you and to others. No wonder you don’t sleep well. No wonder you’re sick all the time. I know you are the major breadwinner in this family, but no job is worth killing yourself over. You have to quit. 

This podcast is for Miranda and Mike

It’s for anyone wondering how stress is affecting their health and well-being

It’s for artists who need some tools to manage all the deadlines or pressure

This show is for anyone looking to debunk that “tortured artist” stereotype, for those who want to believe that the creative life can bring us deep satisfaction, healing, and even joy. I’m so glad you’re here. 

I’m Merideth Hite Estevez, and this is Artists for joy the podcast

SHORT MUSIC BREAK 

each week I will share stories of artists seeking joy… We’ll explore how so many travelers along this the artist’s way have left us bread crumbs—wisdom and inspiration that can help us stay joyful on the journey.

This week on the podcast, stress. What effect does stress have on our creative lives? Can stress be good? I’ll tell you what happened to Miranda when she left that toxic work environment. Plus the best advice I’ve found from a neuroscientist about managing the biological response to stress, something you can try IMMEDIATELY. Also I have a special guest who will join me for the listener question portion of the show and of course I’ll give you something to consider this week. 

I woke up recently from one of those dreams. You know the ones. You are going to be late to an appointment, rehearsal, performance, class, and your feet suddenly won’t work. You can’t find your glasses. This particular dream was a stress dream on STERIODS! Literally, I had rehearsal and I couldn’t find my car keys. Then I found the keys but my mother who was apparently coming with me, and she was taking forever. Then, once we finally got in the car it was raining so hard that we couldn’t see to drive. Then it started snowing and the car was sliding. Then we finally arrived and I realized I didn’t have my reed case. An oboe colleague offered me a reed and I go to put it on my oboe and the top joint of my instrument is a rubix cube. That is not a joke. I couldn’t play the oboe until I solved the puzzle. Then I finally get it together and I go to play the tuning note for the orchestra and the conductor looks at me funny. It turns out this concert was on historical instruments and not at 440 hertz but 415 (if that goes over your head, just know I stopped playing historical instruments 10 years ago). Luckily my colleague had an extra baroque oboe which we were apparently about to play beethoven 7th symphony on, which you guessed it is not a baroque piece…go figure. 

Anyway, I finally go to offer the right tuning note and play the rehearsal when I realize there is now a giant climbing wall between me and the violas. So I can no longer see the conductor, or anyone really. The other thing that kept going wrong in this dream is that I couldn’t seem to exhale when I was playing. Fun fact about the oboe, the aperture of the reed is so small that you often have lungs full of stale air and you need to exhale before you can inhale again. This is one of the most challenging parts of the instrument actually is timing of the breath, the needing to expel all that’s in your lungs before you can breathe again. The whole dream I kept having that stale air feeling like I was drowning in carbon dioxide.

So eventually I wake up, thank the LORD because it was a very bad dream. Took a big sigh of relief when my eyes opened.

The interesting thing about the timing of this dream was, I can honestly say, that I was not stressed when I went to sleep. I actually had just come off a big break from oboe-ing while I was working on my book, and still had two weeks to get back in fighting shape for some performances. But that feeling of all those obstacles in my way, all that I had faced in my dream, it was visceral. It followed me for days afterwards. You know how you often forget your dreams immediately? Well this one happened almost a month ago and I remember it VIVIDLY as I make this podcast. 

As I work my embouchure muscles back into shape, recounting this dream to myself as I practice, it got me thinking, we tend to think of stress in the creative life as a bad thing. We tend to think that stress kills, our heart, our blood pressure, our mood, and that isn’t totally wrong, I’ve learned. But something new I learned this week, there is actually good stress too. It is through the stress I am putting my muscles of my lips and face through, that I am able to play a whole orchestra rehearsal and shape the phrases of each melody just like I hear it in my head. Stress, in other words, when used correctly, when monitored and managed, is actually the main way we grow. 

I’ll share a podcast that I heard this week on these matters from Stanford neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman in the show notes, but he says that good stress, the type that leads to growth, strength, and progress is called eustress. He sites this study where people are exposed to very bad bacteria while they are under stress and amazingly their bodies were able to fight the illness because of the adrenal stress response actually strengthens the immune system. This is why we so often get sick when we go on vacation, because it was the stress that was giving us the ability to fend off illness. 

Now, huberman says that bad stress, chronic stress, the kind that leads to high blood pressure and anxiety, scientists called distress. So instead of thinking we need to be stress free to be happy, joyful musicians, we need instead to monitor the stress levels, how long we are experiencing periods of stress, learn how to activate the parasympathetic nervous system which they tell me helps you relax and slows down the fight or flight response. 

So when I awoke from the stress dream and fell down the biology rabbit hole, I realized that I had that dream because of the good kind of stress, the healthy obstacle overcoming-ness that every artist faces. There was growth that was happening and so my mind was playing out scenarios for me to overcome, and thankfully getting back into shape will be challenging but in a good way., and you bet I did double check that the upcoming concert is at 440 and not 415, lol. 

And so how do you know if you are under good stress or bad stress? For me I think the answer to that question comes with how I act in response to it and how I transition out of it. Huberman states that every kind of stress, good and bad, has the same generic biological response. It quickens your heart rate, it alerts your sympathetic nervous system. You get a shot of adrenaline. And so if the stress is good for me, I am able to use the adrenaline to move through the work, to make the changes the stress is urging me to make. So in this way, stress makes me productive. The very real stress of a deadline, rehearsal, etc, it makes me act. 

And so, the first question to ask yourself is maybe–does your stress make you act in ways that are sustainable and healthy? Are you able to turn the agitation to activation— to follow the impulse to grow and move and make progress? That is good stress. The goal is not a stress-free creative life, then, it’s actually monitoring whether or not the stress is making you move or making you freeze or hide or sleep. And the second question is, how good are you at alternating back from motion to stillness? How are you at transitioning from periods of stress to periods of rest? If you have trouble with that, you might be under distress, or the chronic unhealthy kind. In the last few weeks, have you ever had a very strong response to something that happened to you? That when you explained it to someone they don’t understand why you forgetting your password or being caught in a thunderstorm or there being a rubik's cube of a riddle to solve before you can go about your day…they don’t get why it was such a big deal? It was a big deal to you because the chronic stress has your baseline coping mechanism disabled. Strong reactions to small inconveniences, unexplained tears, these are all signs of chronic stress. A disregulated sympathetic nervous system, huberman says. 

Miranda, my friend in publishing, didn’t even realize it but her work was beyond stressful, it was distressful. She often felt so anxious she wasn’t able to make decisions on her own, she wasn’t even fully aware of how bad the work environment was until her loved one over heard their meetings. But when her husband pointed it out, she realized how impossible it was for her to exit the stressful state once work was over. She didn’t work from home she lived at work. She would often need a glass of wine just to be able to feel relaxed enough to sleep, only to wake up in the middle of the night to toss and turn. 

So let me ask you—if someone overheard the way people in your life speak to you, whether it be your director, conductor, teacher, spouse, anyone who is requiring of you some sort of action, if someone overheard your private conversations, would they think there is a healthy amount of stress being placed on you? Do you find yourself freezing in the face of difficult and stressful situations, unable to sleep or rest without ruminating on thoughts of what to do next, even when the stressor is over for the day?

I’ve felt the freeze before. I’ve been so afraid of failure that I dread working, writing, playing. When I think back to my days of studying or performing music in some intense environments, I see that there was an unhealthy amount of chronic stress on me as a student and a lot of times the people in charge, those who had power over me did not model good relaxation or stress relieving activities. They lived in a state of chronic distress too and anxiety and while they were often very successful, they created an unhealthy creative environment. And we all thought that that was just how it was. That was just what was required. That was the price we paid for greatness. 

But friend, let me tell you. Chronic stress is not a price worth paying, no matter how much quote unquote success it may bring you in your creative industry. let me just tell you what happened to Miranda when she quit that toxic job. She started losing the extra weight she’d been carrying around, she reversed her type 2 diabetes, she started sleeping. And here’s the kicker–she did open her own literary agency and started writing again herself. All that was and is not easy, in fact sometimes it is stressful, a certain amount of activation can come from stress, but here’s the things creative joy and thriving cannot be born of distressing situations.

So what can you do to get better at transitioning from stress to rest? To stop the chronic stress cycle in its tracks. Well I’m so glad you asked because it turns out as an oboe player, as a wind player, this is my speciality. The answer is simple—exhale more than you inhale. Or the scientific name, physiological sigh. Your breath is something you can control and when you do two inhales through your nose and long exhale through your mouth, it activates the parasympathetic nervous system, that restful relaxing non adrenaline side of your body. So let’s do a few oboe breaths..two short inhales through the nose and long exhale through the mouth. There now you’re ready to play some oboe and de stress at the same time.. 

Here’s to naming cycles of chronic stress when we find them in our creative lives. To leaving toxic work environments, to experiencing stress and release in healthy quantities. To exhaling more when we close the computer or wash the brushes, to channeling your inner oboist that way…singing your life’s song until your done for the day and then allowing yourself to release everything that left in your lungs without a second thought.

I’ll be right back.

Listener question

Today’s listener question is: “Merideth, I noticed registration for your artist’s way group just re-opened! Can you tell me why I should join? What does it require time wise each week? Can you say more about it?

And to answer this one, I called up one of our newest co facilitators, Sara McMahon, actor, teacher, paper artist, all around amazing human. 

INTERVIEW

Thank you Sara for coming on today. I facilitate this free course with a team of amazing artists who come from a variety of artistic disciplines and faith backgrounds and have so much to offer in the ways they create community and if you’ve done the group before I hope you’ll come back and join us again because there’s always more to be experienced and it truly is a different book every time I read it. You can learn more at our website which you can find in the show notes or visit Artist’s for Joy dot org /theartistsway 

Now for Today’s coda

The dominant seventh chord in music theory is a group of stacked thirds built on the 5th scale degree, or the dominant. Ok I’m going to try really hard to dumb this down so even if you have zero experience with music the meaning comes through, let me know if that’s you if I accomplish this. So a chord is just a group of notes played at the same time and the dominant chord is a group that’s built on the 5th note of the scale. The reason why the dominant or dominant seventh chords matter so much is because that chord is the center of western classical music as we know it. At the center of the chord is a Tritone, the most dissonant and uneasy sounding interval in the diatonic scale, in other words, western classical music the precursor to jazz and rock and pop by the way, it hangs on the relationship of this chord, this central dissonant interval, and how it resolves back and forth to the tonic. Once in graduate school we had to go through a score of Brahms requiem and highlight every single dominant seventh chord and mark how it resolved to the tonic. It was this music you’re hearing now. It may sound so beautiful and placid but it is chock full of dissonance followed by consonance. Stress followed by release. 

turns out everything you ever loved about music, everything you hear and think, wow, that’s so satisfying that’s so beautiful, I would say that what you are hearing as satisfying is the dominant resolving to the tonic, stress resolving to release. Stress without release is painful. Release without stress is boring. The stress release continuum is what makes I would go so far as to say, literally almost every single type of music, it’s this that makes it beautiful.

And so my question for you today is this..what is the balance of stress and release in your creative life? Isn’t it incredible that even though composers have been using the dominant seventh chord to make music go somewhere, using it to let the listener experience stress and release, they’ve been doing that since the invention of tonal harmony. And yet some songwriter who finished their song yesterday, was likely still using that same chord or same phenomenon to satisfy the listener, because we know that we are built for balance, the balance between stress and release or between chaos and order between sweet and salty. And so how are you doing? What boundaries do you need to set to stop the constant stress without release? How might this movement of Brahms sound without release?? And flip it—Maybe you aren’t even letting yourself be healthily stressed because you’re too scared to take a risk, too worried to feel the stomach flip of caring about an outcome? What would Brahms sound like with no dissonance? It would be flat, and nowhere near as lovely. Life is all about stress and release my friend, and art mimics life in that way. May we be like Brahms , masters of balancing the dominant dissonances in our life with the sweet return of the restful tonic.

That’s it for this week’s episode of artist’s for joy. It was written and produced by me, Merideth Hite Estevez. This podcast is possible by the generous support of Kirk in the Hills Church in Bloomfield Hills Michigan and listeners like you. This show is sponsored by Artists for Joy, LLC where we offer workshops, classes, and one-to-one coaching for artists looking for a more joyful creative life.

Today’s music features our theme song by Angela Sheik, plus works perofrmed by the University of Chicago orchestra, Raphael Angelini, and yours truly on oboe. 

Todays sounds of joy is a 20 second tutorial I made for you with some dominant 7th chords resolving. I used to teach music theory and ear training to freshmen but that was many years ago, anyway this piano is a little out of tune but hopefully you’ll hear the power of the stress release phenomenon 

Musical Meditation: The Joy Toolkit

Transcripts are auto-generated and therefore contain errors!

Hello there, Merideth Hite Estevez here, your host of Artists for Joy podcast and today I have a quick practical bonus episode for you where I outline some ways to create your own joy toolkit. But before I do, this episode will make way more sense if you jump back and listen to the one right before this one in the feed, so check that out if you haven’t already. If you are new here, our rhythm here on the show is to produce longer full length episodes every other week and then on the off weeks I give you a little creative coaching goodies–either a musical meditation, visualization or a couple of self-coaching questions to help you take action, find clarity, or reflect deeply on what matters most to you. 

So last week we talked about this idea of a joy toolkit, an arsenal for you to return back to in times of stress. I wanted to share a couple of listener responses to the episode: one was an email I got from a listener who shared a picture of her physical joy box..a box that she made, covered with colors and fabrics and patterns that spark joy and in it are some what she calls touchstones, little treasures like a painted rock, a card from a loved one, a little figurine made of jade that she got on a trip to asia. She keeps the box on her desk and opens it whenever she needs a little pick me up. Thanks for sharing that, I love the physicality of this–it is literally a collection of things you can touch, reminding us that the objects we surround ourselves with matter, because of course they do. I appreciate you sharing that. 

Another listener said: “Merideth, I enjoyed the toolkit episode and your love affair with nyc. You continue to open yourself to the community that you've created. Your bravery shows: listening to your words this morning allowed me to feel your courage. Your podcast illuminates your experience as generative and evergreen. The beauty is the not knowing and the knowing and again not knowing.” That last line, the beauty is the not knowing, the knowing, and again now knowing. Yes yes yes, that is such a beautiful way to put it. I think if we can bear the not knowing, then there are things to learn and a path to walk when we can get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That definitely resonates. And so then, how do you create this toolkit for yourself, to keep you company on the road of unknowing knowing. 

If you want to share your thoughts about the episode, I would love to hear them or share them with our community here. You can write to me by commenting on the post for this episode in instagram or by clicking the link in the show notes to send me a message there.

Today’s music features that beautiful cello playing of Erin Ellis, she’ll be performing a couple of movements from 11 caprices of Joseph Marie dall’Abaco. As you listen to this music, take some time with your journal and answer these questions to uncover what brings you joy, to help you craft your own joy toolkit. As a reminder, these questions are in the show notes so swipe up wherever you listen.

Self coaching question: 

1. I am going to take you through each of the 5 senses and ask you to consider what brings you joy in regards to each one. As I ask these questions, try not to over think or censor it. Let what is supposed to, bubble to the surface. 

   1. Hearing–what’s that one song that makes your heart flutter with joy every time you hear it? What band makes you do a fist bump in the car? Whose voice calms and soothes and reassures you? Is there a poem that you love to hear read aloud? What sounds of the natural world remind you of the glory of creation? Write some sounds down that spark joy. 

   2. Seeing–what’s that one show or movie that you could watch over and over? Whose eyes can you look into and feel a release the stress of the day? What pictures, images, or even just colors help you feel most like yourself? Write down some things that when you see them, you experience joy.

   3. Touch–what fabric do you most enjoy wearing against your skin? What does it feel like to touch the hand or the arm or the back of the head of your child or significant other? What products feel most luxurious or nourishing on your skin? 

   4. Taste–Try to remember the last truly great meal you remember enjoying. What flavors or textures did you experience there? What was something you ate recently that had you saying, Man, I should eat this more often. What foods or drinks do you associate with joyful memories?

   5. Smell–What are the smells that make you close your eyes and smile? Mine include my toddler son’s head, the smell of the kitchen when my mother in law in visiting especially when she is making soup, and the coffee grinds as I empty them. What smells do you associate with the people or experiences you love the most? 

2. After you answer these questions, create a master joy tool kit list and put it somewhere you can see it or find it. Use it in times of stress or anxiety, yes, but what if you tried to practice these things that spark joy EVERY SINGLE DAY. Seeking them out not out of over indulgence or gluttony but as a reminder that joy is much simpler than we sometimes give it credit for. 

Again, I’ve got some beautiful music performed by Erin Ellis on cello to listen to while you reflect. To read more about her, swipe up in the show notes.

Here’s to finding the tools to cultivate a joyful creative life, and practicing joy every day. 

I’ll be back next week with another full length episode. Until then, take good care. 

The Joy Toolkit

Transcripts are auto-generated are therefore contain errors!

My friend, Gwen is a caseworker by day and writer by night. She works with young adults in New York city as a resource for girls who are being released from juvenile detention. We caught up this week at a writing conference and I asked her if she felt ready to pitch at the pitch slam the next day, she would be one of the authors who would spend an hour waiting in.

Only to walk up to complete strangers agents mainly to pitch her project. Gwen was sharing the book she had been working on for the last six years, a memoir that was a conglomeration of many of the most heart wrenching stories that she had collected while working with young adults coming back from the brink of crisis, it was an important.

There was also a heavy book. As I spoke to Gwen, her brow furrowed, her breaths were slow and deliberate. I put my hand on her shoulder and I looked into her eyes. You okay? I asked her tears, ran down her face and soaked into the top for cotton mask. This work is so personal. She said, rereading, this manuscript feels like looking into a mirror.

This podcast is for Gwen it's for anyone out there who needs to separate themselves from their creative product. It's for artists who need some practical tools for cultivating joy. This show is for anyone looking to debunk that tortured artist stereotype, for those who want to believe that the creative life can bring us deep satisfaction, healing and even joy.

I'm so glad you're here. I'm Merideth Hite Estevez, and this is Artists for Joy. The podcast… each week, I will share stories of artists seeking joy. We'll explore how so many travelers along this, the artist's way have left us spread crumbs wisdom and inspiration that can help us stay joyful on the journey this week on the show, the joy toolkit, a practical idea.

I learned. From another author this week at writer's digest conference in New York city, that will help you prioritize your connection to yourself and to the world around you. It'll help keep you joyful so you can keep creating. I'll answer a listener question about traveling. And I'll give you something to consider this week, but first here's some more music.

There is someone I always make time to visit when I'm in New York city, that's Picasso's girl in the mirror, a painting that lives at the museum of modern art, which is on 53rd and fifth avenue. The placard beside the painting at the museum says, quote, this painting is an exploration of the transient of beauty.

That's not what I think that the painting is about, but that's a topic for another podcast. By the way, if you wanna see this image, you can swipe up and check out the show notes. I love this painting because of what it seems to say about how others see us about how we see ourselves it's colors and shapes and patterns seems to suggest that Picasso found this woman beautiful, or at least an object of his desire.

But that's sort of secondary to what I see in this painting. We're viewing a woman viewing herself, or really viewing Picasso, viewing her, viewing herself on this trip to New York. It got me thinking about how we see ourselves. How I've seen myself lately, especially in the reflection of this, my favorite city in the world, I'm here for a writing conference of all things.

My very first one, as I chose the specific ribbons for my name tag, that describe my genre and topic and stuck them on the bottom of my lanyard. I smiled with so much. Because the truth is I've always been a writer. I won an award for a story in eighth grade. I was just a few credits, shy of a creative writing minor in undergrad, but see what I'm doing.

I'm using all these concrete things to justify myself and my identity as a writer. Do you ever do that? For example, finish this sentence real. Or painters writers, musicians do they're published. They sell their art. They make their entire income as a musician. They don't have a day job. In other words, We use the way the world sees us as a way to define our view of ourselves.

And sometimes no matter how people see us, no matter how much we achieve our failures are like tinted lenses, that color, everything. It was this way for me in New York city for years. I had never even applied to Julliard until my doctorate degree, because I was too afraid of failure. When I got in, I felt that my acceptance meant I had arrived.

And so I was meant to be here. And yet if you've been following me for a while now and listen to this show, , you know, the degree program was difficult. The time in the city did not go as planned. I felt discourage burnt out and lost. Not only that I applied for job after a job when I graduated and absolutely nothing panned out the relationship I had spent years cultivating with someone, I thought I would marry fell apart.

I was left with no prospects, no money, no job, no apartment. I left New York with my metaphorical tale between my legs. I fell into a spiral of shame. I wondered for years if God was punishing me and no amount of new accomplishments or opportunities took away these feelings of intense failure. My diploma stayed in its box for.

It was hard to visit New York for a while after that. But being here again this week and seeing Picasso's girl in the mirror, seeing my own image in the shop windows, as I walk along sixth avenue, my gray hair and baby weight, and a lanyard with a ribbon that says nonfiction writer. It strikes me how different I look on the outside now.

And yet how much more at home I. How I am seeing more of who I really am looking back at me from my reflection than maybe ever. When we see each adversity, we face as a chance to direct us along a unique path, then it becomes less like a colored lens and more like a light directing us where we should go next.

We are either becoming more of who we are meant to be, or. And leaving New York was what I needed in the end. Sometimes you have to step away from the reflections of yourself, given to you by the world in order to see yourself most clearly. I probably don't need to tell you how grateful I am that I didn't stay, because if I'd never left, I would've never met Edwin my husband or had my children.

I would never have realized my passion for working with creatives and artists who are feeling lost and lonely. Like I felt in New York city, do I wish I could have skipped over the pain and sadness of letting go of all the things I thought my life would be sure. And I much prefer this life, this woman than who I had imagined, I'd become mostly.

She's real. She's living a life that resonates with my soul so deeply. I actually ended up where I'm supposed to be. And New York city is still right where I left it full of life, friends and great art and visiting here now can make my heart full. As I'm choosing to see every moment I've had here as an amazing gift that has helped shape who I am now at the conference, the author, Tiffany D.

Jackson gave the closing keynote address. She said many things that were inspiring and informative, but my personal favorite was when Gwen, my memoir writing friend stood up and raised her. They brought her the mic. And Gwen said, I know from the content of your books, that you don't shy away from topics that are tough, like abuse, trauma, and pain.

Tell me about your self care regimen. How do you manage to stay so joyful when you carry those stories? I was so proud of Gwen for asking, we all waited with anticipation for Tiffany's answer. She said, I have a joy toolkit. I have a list of things I do or eat or watch that return me to myself. For me.

It's Bob Marley and cookie dough and Twilight movies. I plan weddings for no one on P. I take my dog for a walk. And when none of that works, I lie on the floor and let myself feel my feelings. As artists, we have to watch where we look to define our identity. We have to stop letting the mirrors that the world offers, define how we see ourselves.

We keep walking up to strangers at a conference and ask them to tell us if our project. Which we often equate our own value with is worthy of their time and attention. We look waiting for them to reflect ourselves back to us, to help us believe that we're worthy. That we're good. When really what we need to remember is what Tiffany Jackson says it is through seeking joy that we will be returned to our.

So what would be in your tool kit? For me, it's wandering around with a hot cup of coffee, listening to Bach cello suites and Bon Neva. It's dancing in the kitchen to Bruno Mars with my family. It's deep conversations over fresh guacamole, the joy tool kit. Makes it possible for two writers like Gwen and Tiffany to carry those painful stories from their own lives or lives of others and turn them into something that can educate release and even heal the pain.

Creativity allows us to take the mess and turn it into the message. But when we forget to seek joy, when we get weighed down by the world and all the ways it is trying. Define and change and even crush us. The joy toolkit keeps us afloat in the face of failure and risk and pain and everything in between in Picasso's painting the girl in the mirror, the face of the woman has two sides, one with creamy lilac skin without a blemish.

And the other is marked and clown. We all curate our lives to show our good side. We cover our shame with makeup and with manufactured confidence, but in there is who we really are. And the way we reconnect with that person is through joy allows us to see ourselves as we were made to be not as some disjunct false image.

In the Cubist style, we have an opportunity through joy to reframe our imperfections, our failures, even our beauty, and take away the power of others to provide us with that reflection. With a verdict of whether or not we made it. And we do that through prioritizing joy. It's more than something you feel it's something that you practice intentionally.

So join me as I stop defining myself by accolades and accomplishment, by some others' view of me, I call myself a writer because I write in writing. It's in my joy toolkit, just like playing the OBO. It's a way of seeing my truest image, who God made me to be, who I always was regardless of my bio or which ribbons, hang on my name.

So what's in your toolkit, pick one for every one of your senses. What is it that when you taste, see, hear, smell. What is it that brings you joy? What makes you feel most like yourself? What helps you reconnect with who you're made to be? Write them down, explore what might work and don't bother explaining them to anyone.

These tools are for you. The secret handheld mirror in your. To help you heal and rest. And remember that you are not your reflection. You are not your stories. Even if the ones you write happen to be true, you are not what the last critic or the agent at the pitch slam, who passed on your project or any other person in the world says you are take joy in becoming more.

Holy.

In working to see her and accept her unconditionally by returning to yourself through the pursuit of joy, I'll be right back.

Today's listener mail comes from a listener on Instagram who asked hi Meredith. I've been watching your adventures in NYC this week, and I am planning a trip this fall. It'll be my first time there. I was wondering if you could gimme some tips on what is not to be missed when visiting the big apple.

Thanks in advance for your help. Sincerely a New York Neo fight. Oh, my goodness. What can I say? There's so much not to be missed. First of all, Broadway, see a Broadway show. There's ways to get cheap tickets, Google it, central park, obviously the MoMA or the met. There's just so many awesome museums. The Guggenheim, the Noya gallery.

Make time to see some of these masterpieces stay away from times square, unless that's your jam. And honestly, This sort of begs the question of, you know, how do you travel with joy and intention? And one, one question I often ask my coaching clients when they're about to go on a trip, I ask them, what are your intentions for this trip?

What will have helped you feel the trip was a success? Do you want it to be restful or are you interested in trying to mark things off your bucket list? Are there people that you need to see so that you'll feel loved? What kind of energy would that involve? What kind of time would that involve? Is it what's your.

Travel size, joy toolkit. what even seemingly simple things do you need to make this trip feel joyful or feel however you need it to feel you are gonna need comfortable shoes in New York city. And here's a pro tip. Really? You travel anywhere. If you're on a budget, buy some bread and cheese from a grocery store and go sit in a park and eat it.

Be intentional when you travel. Especially when you travel in New York city, because it's a place that can be overwhelming for some. And even with just a little planning, it can be a really fun trip. Happy to answer more specific questions. If you DM me on Instagram at artists for joy. I'm no New York city expert, but I do really love it here.

And happy to advise if you have a question for me about this or any of the other episodes, or if you have a response or comment that you'd like me to read on next week's bonus episode, visit our website artist for joy.org/podcast. Or I click the link in the show notes to get in touch

now for today's Coda. There are 26 letters in the English alphabet. They make up 44 sounds that constitute 171,146 words in the English language. Shakespeare, by the way, was thought to have invented 1700 of those that are still in use today. And so my question for you today is this, what will you build?

With the tools that you have, all the books in your house, in English, in the library of Congress, they were written with the same letters, the same words, the same sounds, and like the author, Madeline Langel says in her book, walking on water, it isn't the committees that change language. It's the artists.

And you have the same number of letters as Shakespeare, the same primary colors as Picasso and people are still writing books. They're still painting. In other words, you have everything you need to create beautiful or heart wrenching or important things. And the world needs them. You not only have what you need to create beautiful things, but to also take care of your.

There is therapy and medication and dogs and travel and parks and reading. You have what you need to spark joy to remember who you are, but you are a creator of the thing that may remind others of the same. So the artist toolkit is the world. The, a world that is abundant. Sounds and letters and turns of phrase and stories that only you can tell.

So let us be deliberate with our tools to remember that we hold the power to not only change our world, but the worlds of others. One word, one book, one work of art at a time you have all the tools you need. So what will you make?

That's it for today's episode of artists for joy, it was written and produced by me, Meredith height. Estabas this podcast is made possible by the generous support of Kirk in the Hills church in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, and by listeners like you, this show is sponsored by artists for joy, LLC, where we offer workshops classes, and one-to-one coaching for artists looking for a more joyful creative life to learn more or support the work of artists for joy.

Visit artists for joy.org. Today's music features cellist Erin. Performing works of Dell Abaco. Read more about Erin by clicking the link in the show notes and check out her new album on Spotify. Our theme song is by Angela chic recordings used with permission. If you notice the mixing sounds of the show, sound a little different it's because I recorded in a new studio since I'm on the road and I wanted to thank pirate.com for use of their awesome space in Brooklyn.

If you are in need of a podcasting studio, They really have spots all over the world. So check them out by the way, pirate. If you're listening to this and wanna sponsor me feel free, also wanted to thank the whole team of people who supported me, uh, made it possible for me to go on this trip and go to this conference.

My mother-in-law and my husband. I hope that it'll encourage you to find yourself a creative community. People who support you so that you can go and dream find. It's a must for a joyful creative life. That's for sure. I'll be back next week with some self coaching questions that will help you create your own joy toolkit.

So make sure you subscribe so you don't miss an episode. And if you haven't already, can you take a second and click five stars and write a quick review in apple podcast. It helps us move up the charts and bring more artists joy until next week. Take good. Amazing. Today's sounds of joy is a musical postcard.

I got on the final day of the conference from my husband and my daughter. She's playing a recorder. Playing is a generous word. don't worry. I turned down the volume a little bit, so she won't blow out your ears, but it surely brought me joy hearing them, and I hope it will do the same for you. Enjoy. The song is for mama.

We love you. Hey Avie Hey, the song is for mama who love you. If, if ever's, um, song for mama frees, free tunes to it, we love you.

Little bit longer. Oh, please. Just to go to stay here just long.

Oh, we want.

Stay stay, stay just started.

Whoa.

We love you. We love you too.

Creating in Your Season

Transcriptions are autogenerated and therefore may contain errors

Margo and I have been friends since elementary school. She works now for a large TV streaming service as a graphic designer. In fact, you've probably seen her work and just didn't know it. Like when you binge your favorite TV shows. Recently, I caught up with Margo when I was back in South Carolina and after we had chatted for a bit, she invited me back into her sun porch where she worked.

“I can't wait to tell you about what I've been working on. I just know this is gonna make it onto your podcast.” She said,…She knows me well. She led me through her sun-filled home into her studio and along every physical space that could hold a sheet of paper hung or sat a watercolor painting… abstracts mostly, but the occasional landscape in Margo's signature dramatic style. I gasped.

“Wow, Mo, these are beautiful." “I discovered the most amazing thing.” She said. “I was feeling creatively, dry, stressed with all this intense design work. And I realized quite dramatically that I no longer experienced that little stomach flip. When I started a new graphic, the blank slate looked treacherous and even boring instead of engaging and exciting, like it used to feel.”

“So I decided in my free time that I would explore a new medium and what better thing to use when you're feeling dry, but water. And here's the thing she said. What I love most about watercolors is how thirsty the paper is. I held the corner of one of the pages in my hand and felt it's texture. Its tooth.”

They call it. She said it's not only made from chips of recycled wood. It's laced with cotton cotton. That's just waiting to drink the color. It made me remember how thirsty I used to be too, to create, to make something that I cared about. This podcast is for Margot is for anyone else living through a dry season.

It's for artists looking for solidarity on the road of creative recovery. This show is for anyone looking to debunk that tortured artist stereotype, for those who want to believe that the creative life can bring us deep satisfaction, healing and even joy. I'm so glad you're here. I'm Meredith height Estevez, and this is artists for joy.

The podcast. Each week I will share stories of artists seeking joy. We'll explore how so many travelers along this, the artist's way have left us bread, crumbs wisdom and inspiration that can help us stay joyful on the journey this week on the show, creating in your season. Are you in a dry season? Are you in a sleepless night season or retirement boredom sitting at the top of a roller coaster?

I'll explain how naming and claiming the season of your creative life can help with managing your expectations, setting goals and finding joy. I'll answer a listener question about how to get started when you wanna write a book, plus give you something to consider this week, but first here's some more.

When I was a kid growing up in rural South Carolina, I had a CD collection that would rival even the most loyal Sam goody spin thrift genres, Broadway, musical Christian. Billy Joel jewel train and of course, loads and loads of classical Beethoven, Schubert Bach Copeland Copeland was always my favorite.

These were the days of the portable CD player. Remember those? You had to hold it super still, or it would skip by the way. I'm just imagining people trying to go running with those . That seems impossible. As long as I had my headphones and that Sony portable disc player and a healthy stash of double A's.

I was happy long car trips to visit my grandmother in Ohio, lying alone on my bedroom floor, staring at the cracks in the ceiling and listening to Appalachian spring over and over. Wondering when I could blow this joint and move to a city. Music was my getaway car to steal a phrase from Ann Patchet. I remember once my uncle picked up my headphones and pressed play, when I had stepped away from my stuff while we were on a family vacation.

And when he heard the opening track of the chorus line soundtrack, he told my parents, I'm not sure what that kid is listening to. It just sounds like some man yelling out dance moves. . I was kind of embarrassed if I'm honest, but it was a moment that I'll never forget because it was just so clear that my music was mine.

No one else got it. And no one else had to, it was like those CDs were dispatches from some far off. From my future self, the place where I was, most me, those discs were spinning hope, hope that that moody season of adolescence would pass. My actual life would begin. What season of life are you in this question or concept is something that I read recently in a book by Kindra.

Adachi more on the book later. But she believes that naming your season of life is a powerful way to overcome overwhelm and reduce disappointment and guilt. And I love this idea having just left the newborn season closely followed by the breastfeeding season. I now find myself walking into a whole new.

A phase. I'm still defining back when my now one year old son first arrived, I listened to Kendra's book on audible, and I realized that I had to stop putting pressure on myself to do well, pretty much anything beyond keep the baby alive and fed. If the house got tidied great. If it didn't great, it was not the season for a tidy house or a morning routine.

For that matter for everything. There is a season. Maybe we caused some of our own suffering. By not living well in our season for artists living in our season can be hard for a couple reasons. For me as a classical musician, which is a very competitive field. I think so many of us live in, in this season of hustle, hustle, hustle, everything has to happen right now.

I should be practicing. And the answer to how much are you doing is always not enough. One more gig, one more degree, more, more, more. We live in this perpetual season of intensity auditions scrutiny, perfectionism, you can't stop practicing even if your mother has cancer, even if you're experiencing an injury.

And this is how so many artists, I think end up with broken relationships with themselves and with others, we don't listen well to the season of our lives and we keep up a breakneck speed, no matter what so many artists I coach nowadays believe something I believed for so long. If only I could, then I would be happy if only I could get a full-time job playing music.

If only I sold this many pieces of art, then I could rest. Then I could relax. We spend so much time thinking about then that we forget to live well now in whatever season we're. For other creative people and maybe this is you. They blame their season on the lack of productivity or even any creative action.

They say, I am too busy to be creative or prioritize my creativity in this season, but I will someday. And yet they look around and it's been 35 years since they wrote a single line of poetry. Maybe it's not that you're too busy. Maybe you're too scared. Naming your season of life helps you get honest about what matters and it can help us stop making excuses or being victims of our circumstances, too.

It simultaneously helps us see what is and helps us realistically explore what might be. Now, living in your season doesn't mean you stop caring about what isn't possible. Now. It's just that you choose to prioritize some things that matter over other things, because everything important. Can't always matter for every season.

It's like setting yourself up for success. It's like taking care of yourself. Like you'd take care of a friend anticipating their needs. The best part of living this way is that it allows you to recognize that however things are now, it doesn't mean they will be that way forever. It makes hard times feel more manageable and it helps you make small shifts that could have a big impact on the next season.

So, what are the trademarks of your life right now? Where is your energy going? Where is their breathing room and where is there very much not. What expectations are you putting on yourself and are they realistic? Are they possible now? Or here's another good question. What's something you did recently that really disappointed you.

How could you adjust your expectations, your schedule, your goal. To live better in the season that you're in. Here's an example. Maybe you keep trying to sell your art online, but one thing after another keeps delaying it, the website crashes, you can't take high res photographs of your work and the right lighting, because you're never home before dark that's because your day job is so crazy.

How easy, how is your season affecting your creative impulse? What is possible creatively in the season that you're living. I think the secret to living well as an artist, regardless of your season of life, is to seek creativity, not as a thing, which you need the perfect circumstances to accomplish, or as the center of your life's purpose so much so that it's intertwined with your very identity making you hustle beyond what is healthy.

What if it's neither of those things, but more basic and simple. Synonymous with that watercolor paper of Margot. What if it's just as simple as drinking when you're thirsty, this makes your creative practice more fun and satisfying, like a, a good seasonal beverage. We have hot chocolate and winter and lemonade and summer.

But you know what we do in every season we drink because we're thirsty and creativity is just another impulse and an urge, a craving that can quench longing in us and give our life. Color and flavor, regardless of what we're going through, regardless of the season, whether it's a career endeavor, a side hustle or something you dreamt about when you were a kid, you were thirsty because it's a basic human need regardless of your season.

And look, sometimes it may mean just writing a few lines of poetry as you drive to and from the hospital. Other times it'll be hours at the desk or in the studio ripping through a whole pack of watercolor paper in a week. But listen, a small sip is almost always possible. And maybe that sip is just what you need to feel a little more like yourself to sustain you through the driest season that you've endured yet.

Maybe it'll reconnect you with that childlike joy you used to feel when your whole life was ahead of you. As you lie on the floor, listening to Copeland. If you had told that girl that she would one day, get to hear Billy Joel and Joel live in the same week. She would've probably died. but that's what I did.

My husband and I are taking advantage of this season. That is the summer music scene in Detroit. And my cup run, if over and you know what struck me about those artists besides well that they like me are getting older. What struck me is that regardless of their life season, they have not stopped writing songs.

Billy Joel is 73 years old. He's written over 121 songs in his lifetime. 33 of them hit the billboard top 100, making him one of the best selling music artists of all time. Jewel wrote her first big hit, who will save your soul during a season of busing for money. When she was living in her car in San Diego, they have lived through Grammy season and hit song season.

And they likely had times when it was unclear. If their creative talents had completely dried up, but you know what, they kept creating. Maybe what you're making in this season, isn't bringing you the notoriety or attention you deserve. The one song you are writing now might not be the one that makes it on the radio.

Maybe you're in a season where even writing a whole song feels completely impossible and you feel sad that all you can do is think of a few lines here or there. Put it on the notes app of your phone, but that's enough. Take small sip whenever you can keep going. Maybe this isn't the work of art that will change everything forever.

But maybe it'll do something better. Maybe it'll keep your company, let it satisfy even a little longing, the little thirst in you that makes you want to make something you care about. Like that first sip of water on a hot day. Let your life be laced with hope like that. Crisp cotton paper, just waiting for you to drench it with color.

I'll be right back.

Today's listener question is one from someone on Instagram, they asked Meredith I have these dreams of writing a book. I know you are doing that too. And I'm wondering if you can share where I should even start. I keep buying journals and pens and opening files and trying to develop a consistent routine.

And then just can't seem to keep it up for long. I'm starting to think that this ship has sailed. Thanks in advance for your help. Sincerely longing in long island. Thank you so much for that question. I am so glad you asked . I'll tell you what my writer, friends told me when I first admitted to people that I wanted to write a book, regardless of what you wanna write.

Non-fiction fiction poetry, children's books, and maybe, Hey, maybe this goes for even non-writer out there. The first step in making all your creative dreams come true is developing a creative routine. If you wanna write a book, you have to. Period regularly, small sip. Now this is where asking the question.

How does writing or creating fit into my season of life at this juncture? And be real. What's possible. That book I mentioned earlier by Kendra Adachi is called the lazy genius way, by the way. And I probably cite something that she says in it with coaching clients, literally every single session. So read that for more tips on how to live well in every season, but for now just know the secret to writing a book is to start writing.

Well, you may ask what do I write anything everyth? A journal entry, a blog post, an Instagram caption, a heartfelt letter to your child, just right. I have seen it happen in so many people that as soon as they start satisfying, even a small creative thirst, they want more do it regularly with discipline, but also with devotion.

Writing a book, creating a body of work. It starts with a repetitive, consistent gulp of creative action. Let me know if that helps now for today's Koda. I'm sure I wasn't alone in feeling completely blown away by the images that returned this week from the James web space telescope. The brilliant colors, the sparkle, the other worldly view of the cosmos, it was just spell binding.

And the thing that gets me is the time travel aspect of it all. Here's a quote from the New York times to look outward into space is to peer into the past light travels at a constant 186,000 miles per second, or close to 6 trillion miles per. Through the vacuum of space to observe a star 10 light years away is to see it as if it existed 10 years ago.

When the light left its surface, the further away a star or galaxy lies, the older it is making every telescope a kind of time machine that was always out there said Jane Rigby, an astrophysicist at NASA's Goddard space flight center and the telescopes operation manager. We just had to build a telescope to go see what was there.

So my question for you today is this, what more is there to see in this season of your life? Those pictures of space are just one minuscule snapshot of the vast cosmos in one moment, one glimpse of stars that are 10 light years away. Whose likeness has likely changed by now the fleeting seasons of stars as they burn.

So what if it is with you? What if your creative practice is the telescope you can build to show you everything that has been there all along. And here's the most amazing thing. We feel a kindred nature with the stars because we're made of that same dust. Let it remind us of all that is discoverable within each of us.

Let our creativity be the exploratory work that stretches time, making us somehow believe again, in a force larger than ourselves. Shining the light of hope in the face of the darkest black hole seasons of our lives. Like a north star we can follow straight on to morning.

That's it for this week's episode of artists for joy, it was written and produced by me, Meredith height Estevez. This podcast is made possible by the generous support of Kirk in the Hills church in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, and by listeners like you, the show is sponsored by artists for joy, LLC, where we offer workshops classes, and one Toone coaching for artists looking for a more joyful creative life.

Today's music features works of Schubert, and Chopan played by SU young Cho and bleb Ivanov. Our theme song is by Angela Chi. I'll be back next week with another musical meditation episode for you, which will help you more clearly define and explore the season of life that you are in. And if you haven't already clicked subscribe, so you won't miss an episode.

And if you'd like to receive my emails, you can do so by clicking the link in the show. If you haven't already, can you also take a second to write us a quick review? Wherever you listen to your podcast, it helps us move up the charts and find more listeners like you. Thank you so much for listening. I'll see you next Friday.

Today's sounds of joy is a little snippet of my daughter, Eva singing her heart out in the car the other day I managed to catch it, which is rare. Here's hoping you feel the peace, love and joy, like a river in your soul too. Enjoy

Can you sing for me, please? I love hearing you sing that song. I love peace of joy, joy.

I got peace in the river. I got peace in the joy river. Peace in the river. So

that's amazing. I love you.